


Unnecessary Trouble

by Morgana_Ren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2018), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Bloodplay, But slow burn to the other stuff regardless at least by other peoples standards, Dom!Kylo Ren, Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Force Choking, Height Differences, Height Kink, Hux is a Creep, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Inappropriate office relations, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is a big angry boy, Kylo Ren is a big fat jerk, Naked Female Clothed Male, Overworked and Underpaid, Porn With Plot, Possessive Kylo Ren, Reader can and will throw down with Kylo against her better judgement, Reader is a fiesty meatball, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Smut, Verbal Humiliation, Violent Sex, Watch me break every moral boundary with this garbage, but hes sorta your jerk, more tags to come, seriously slow burn to the loving stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-05-07 08:06:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14666856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_Ren/pseuds/Morgana_Ren
Summary: Overworked and underpaid, you're the lead administrative assistant working under General Hux. Between overbearing bosses, lack of sleep, and insufferable colleagues, you're not entirely opposed to resistance attack if only to catch a break. Well, lucky you, you've been chosen to work directly with the temperamental Commander Kylo Ren while he temporarily oversees operations on Star Killer Base. His tantrums and poor disposition aren't exactly a secret, and you know it's only a matter of time before your big mouth gets you in trouble.





	1. Drops in a bucket

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Every Kylo Ren addict with peculiar tastes](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Every+Kylo+Ren+addict+with+peculiar+tastes).



> Aaaaah, hurray. My first upload here. Come with me while I throw what little value my soul has out the window with this fic. Anyways, I wrote this because the other fic I was writing and was more invested in is currently unreachable and will take a bit longer to upload here. So I write this just to sate my Ren addiction. Hope you enjoy it. If you don't, well that sucks.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

The endless procession of dripping. Perfectly timed, perfectly even, perfectly _maddening_.

Even with your refresher door closed, you could still hear the light plop of the droplets against the aluminum sink, echoing ceaselessly off the walls and into your eardrums. Your room was a black, vast emptiness of space, your eyes making patterns dance in the darkness behind your eyelids. The only light in proximity reflected off your standard issue clock, and it was barely enough to see your hands in the inky blackness.

Drip.

Drip.

To think, you had been so excited about the prospect of having your own bathroom less than a few months ago. No more community showers, no more having to steal soap and hoard it like some sort of mythical soap monster, no more physical altercations over which towel belonged to whom, and no more 2 minute warnings. It had all seemed so pleasant. Turns out you had traded in a litany of inconveniences for your sanity.

Drip.

In fact, this entire situation was beginning to wear on you. You had been so excited when your transfer to Star Killer Base had been approved. Not even just a transfer, but a major step up. You had been a nameless, faceless secretary on some second class vessel for some other nameless, faceless boss barely above your own station. Organizing food orders, pushing through budgeting requests, boring, boring, so utterly _boring._ Each day had become longer than the last and that wasn't even physically possible in your system.

When your supervisor offered the chance to submit the paperwork for an administrative step up, you couldn't even pretend to be considerate of his feelings by seeming undecided. You had practically jumped out of your chair, and it required physical effort on your part to not do a victory dance right then and there. If you made it, you'd be working on Star Killer base, rubbing elbows with the big wigs, in the thick of the action. No more pencil pushing on some ship you couldn't even name in a system you'd never heard of. If you made it, maybe, just maybe, you could have a real chance.

And made it you had.

Oh yes, you had made it alright.

Drip.

Full disclosure, the job itself certainly wasn't awful. As a senior administrative assistant, you had access to most everything in the computer system. You had people working under _you._ You had _authority._ Not to mention it was light years more interesting than the busy work you had been assigned to on your last assignment. You even had your own office, although it wasn't really special. Just a datapad on a stand on your desk, a few plastic plants and some chairs. You were told you could personalize it a little more if you chose, although it had to meet regulations. The thought excited you, but you hadn't really put any real effort into it yet.

Yeah, the job itself was actually fairly cushy.

It was the “outside factors” that made the job so frustrating. Outside factors like those head honchos you had been so excited to meet.

Drip. Drip.

The first time you had stood in General Hux's presence, you had admittedly been a little star struck. He was somewhat of a celebrity in the First Order, being in high command and all. You had never dared to dream that he would actually waste words on you, let alone give you the whole welcoming ordeal. He had been courteous enough, giving you a tight lipped smile and a curt “Congratulations on your transfer into this prestigious job, we have high hopes for you” bit. It was painfully obvious he had better things to do than spend time on you, so you thanked him excessively and gave him your best cheek splitting smile when he escorted you to your office. He nodded shortly and stalked off, but you didn't take it personally. He was the General, he obviously had better things to do than spend time hovering over you, right?

Wrong. So very wrong.

In fact, General Hux had found himself in your office so much that you began to wonder if he might just do the job better himself. Almost every single morning like clockwork, he would mosey in to your little corner of Star Killer, stand menacingly behind you as you worked, and ask for mind numbing updates on the most trivial things. Weapon orders, patrol changes, bounty updates, resistance Intel. Every. Single. Morning.

The first few times, you had obliged him, but after a few weeks, you had gently reminded him that you sent all these updates to his datapad, although you were, of course, _more than happy_ to walk him through them. In true Hux fashion, he launched into a whole speech about how Star Killer base operated at peak condition and was the epitome of 'well oiled machine' because of the attention to detail and extreme competency of it's officers and wah wah wah wah wah wah. Honestly, you started daydreaming around the third or fourth minute in.

Needless to say, he was still in your office nearly as much as you were. Some days he hovered behind you, silently watching you work like some sort of office ghost, and other days he sat in front of your desk, typing away on his data pad. Clearly, the life of a General was not nearly as exciting or busy as the First Order propaganda had made it out to be.

It didn't help that Hux was probably the closest thing you had to a friend here, even though the only words he ever said towards you were “Yes.”, “Hmm.”, or “Unacceptable.” On a good day, you might be lucky enough for him to tell you to have a 'pleasant rest of your evening'.

Yes, your personal life was thriving.

Drip.

Your other bestest friend was some captain who you often ran into in the break room no matter how hard you tried to avoid him. He had happened to be in there on your first day and seemingly every day since, even when you took your breaks at irregular times. He called you pet names like “sweet cheeks” and “sweetie” and made a point to often tell you that a 'pretty little thing' like you didn't need to work, that he would happily take care of you if you 'took care of him.'

Lovely fellow.

You'd take care of him alright. With a blaster to the nuts. You knew Hux and the command center didn't take 'hostile work environment' scenarios lightly, but it just seemed too soon to be ruffling any feathers, so instead you rolled your eyes and ignored him. After all, you hadn't been here long, and filing a complaint so soon might not look great on your record.

Until he laid a hand on you, that is. Then it was game fuckin' on.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Between these things, day to day annoyances, and that infernal fucking dripping that you had asked maintenance to fix time and time again and they never did, you were beginning to wonder if working for the First Order was really the greatest option in your arsenal.

All of this not factoring in your lack of sleep, which all things considered, was probably a much bigger deal than you were making it. You were probably running on a whopping four hours of sleep a night. Honestly, it was a miracle you were functioning at all.

Drip.

Drip.

You turned your head towards the clock positioned on your night stand.

0534 Standard Cycle. The numbers blinked back, mocking you with their slow, calculated inactivity. You had an entire hour and a half before you even had to get up. Two hours if you decided to forgo breakfast. The need for sleep dragged at your lids, anchoring your eyes at half mast, but at this point, you knew it was a fruitless venture. Even if you managed to curl up and drift to sleep, you'd only wake up more tired than when you started. It wasn't worth it. At least now you had some strange form of insomnia induced adrenaline keeping you somewhat efficient. Nothing to do but lie here on this uncomfortable cot for another hour and a half.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Nope. Nothing to do at all.

Drip.

Drip.

...Drip.

Fisting your threadbare sheets with a renewed sense of anger, you threw them off you almost violently, kicking the blanket to the floor beneath your feet and stamping on it for good measure. With an exasperated sign, you kneaded the palms of your hands into your eyes until you saw stars, hoping that maybe you could rub some of the exhaustion out with it.

As always, too much to hope for. Fuck it, then. Into work two hours early. Maybe you'd get lucky and there'd be a resistance attack on the base and you'd be blown into oblivion before lunch.

Standing slowly from your cot, you swabbed your feet around on your floor, searching for your uniform from yesterday. No point in dirtying another outfit for no reason. The thought of doing laundry after work made you grit your teeth to the point of pain. No, better to just wear the same one. It wasn't like you were physically exerting yourself in any manner during the day anyways, unless you counted physically restraining yourself from punching your face directly into a wall.

Upon locating the clothes from their respective hiding spots in the dark, you shimmied into your standard charcoal gray pencil skirt and white button up blouse. Professional, but somewhat casual as well. One of the benefits of being in administrations is that you didn't have to wear an officers uniform. Although the black heels could be murder on the feet some days, you had to admit they made your frame look nice, and really pulled the outfit together. On days you were feeling especially snazzy, you'd even wear the stockings with the seam up the back. Needless to say, that wasn't happening often these days.

The door to your refresher opened with a burst of cold air against your flesh, and you stepped into the small cubby-like room. It was humble, housing only a small shower, a sink with a cabinet that held your toiletries, a toilet and a small mirror on the back of the door. It was simple and sterile looking to the point of being reminiscent of a med bay, but it got the job done.

After brushing your teeth, you smoothed your hair down, brushing out the few tangles and gnats that existed. It was hard to care about appearances with stress and sleep deprivation making a fool of your psyche, but it was still essential. Deep purple shadows tugged underneath your eyes and your lips were plump and red from excessive chewing and tugging. You looked like a hot mess.

Reluctantly, you went about fixing it as best you could. Chap stick and various lip creams could cover your horror of a mouth, and a small container of concealer worked overtime to cover the dark bruises underneath your eyes. Besides that, you were just too tired to fuss with any of it. Maybe during some down time, if you began to look enough like a walking corpse.

You didn't bother with a look back as you exited your small room. There was nothing for you back there except empty promises of sleep and relaxation. Florescent lights assaulted your eyes as you made your way down the deserted hallway and towards the elevator. It was before shift change, so the only people around would be the occasional janitor or a patrol of storm troopers on their way back to the barracks. For this, you were thankful. You really did not feel like conversing with anything or any one.

After a quick stop at the cafeteria, you had promptly dumped two energy drinks into a coffee cup. You figured that looked more professional than just carrying around cans of soda in your arms all day. You even went the extra mile and put one of those stupid little straws in the cup. Fake it till you make it, right?

Only a few more hallways and you'd be safe at your desk, at least for a few hours. Hux didn't usually show up until around 0900, and if you had to guess, it was only around 0620 right now. That's three hours you could just stare at the wall and disassociate for a while. If you were really lucky, this might be one of the days he didn't show up at all. Was it wrong to pray for a galactic emergency just so he'd be too busy to hover over you like some sort of obsessive housefly?

Maybe today would be the day you'd finally have time to go over those intelligence reports from the Outer Rim. They'd been sitting in your inbox for weeks, since Hux personally considered them low priority. They were, which is exactly why you wanted to read them. Nice, easy work. No real thought process. Just nice, easy work. If you were lucky, maybe you could even...

Your light was on.

The light to your office. It was on. You could see the tendrils of light peeking out from beneath the door as you trudged down the hallway. That meant someone was waiting inside your office. At 0630. You weren't even set to report for work for another hour and a half. Who in the name of the Maker thought that there was _any_ excuse for that? A mix of dread and righteous anger pooled in your throat. You didn't want to speak to the Supreme Leader himself right now, let alone anyone else in the Gods forsaken galaxy.

Uninvited anxiety joined the emotion cocktail whirling around in your gut. Had you missed an important message on your datapad? Did you have a meeting you had missed? Had you done something wrong and were about to be discharged via airlock?

You stopped in front of your doorway for a few seconds before entering, mentally preparing yourself for whatever damage you had inadvertently done, and whatever punishment awaited you. Vicious waves of nausea and heartburn radiated your kneecaps, and you took one final sip of your toxic energy water to try and wash it down.

Huffing, you stepped into your office, heels clacking on the black tile. You narrowed your eyes, scanning your office for any signs of life. Sure enough, you were greeted by a thick, perfectly coiffed mop of bright ginger hair.

General Hux. Of course. Who else could it be? Who else could it have possibly ever been.

He stood in the back corner of your office behind your desk with his hands looped behind his back, and you noted he was looking particularly uncomfortable. His pale lips were pulled thin into a tight line and his brows furrowed as he started hatefully at some invisible force on the floor. It appeared he was so deep in his thoughts that he hadn't quite processed the fact that you had entered. For a moment, you genuinely thought about backing out of the room and hiding in a closet somewhere until he eventually left, but the other part of you knew better. This was the General of the First Order, as hard as it was to remember that sometimes with his incessant presence in your life.

“General Hux, sir. It's an honor to see you.” _Again._ “How may I be of service?”

Hux's eyes snapped up to meet yours, and in seconds his face was wiped clean of any emotion it had shown previously. A courteous smile flashed on his features and he bowed his head in acknowledgment. “Ah, yes. I was hoping perhaps you would be in early today. Efficient as always. It is commendable. Your dedication will not go unnoticed.”

“Thank you sir, it is an honor to serve.” _It's not like I can't eat, can't sleep, can't breathe without some aspect of this job ripping at my brain anymore. No, no, it's just my raw loyalty to the cause._

“Although I wish this were a more pleasant visit, I'm afraid I have some news that might impact your work.” His jaw ticked, and for the briefest second, you saw a flash of white teeth behind his mouth. He was snarling, almost imperceptibly, but snarling no less. A black hole of dread wiggled around in your stomach, threatening to churn up the contents of your stomach in a less than appropriate manner.

“Sir?”

He ran his tongue across his lip, closing his eyes momentarily. “You are aware of the presence of Knight Commander Ren aboard this base, yes?”

_Knight Commander Ren? As in Kylo Ren? Big bucket head man?_

Yes, you were aware of Ren's existence, but it was more myth and legend than anything. Not many people saw him outside of the patrols and soldiers he commanded and the higher level engineers and captains. It was mostly unheard of for lower level staff to interact with him for more than a few seconds, and when they did, it almost always ended poorly. You knew that for a fact, since it was you who had to review the incident reports when he decided to choke out some poor sod or slash and hack a terminal into practical nonexistence.

The temperamental Commander Ren. Yep, you knew him. Knew OF him, anyways. And you were perfectly happy to keep it that way.

“Y-yes, I know of Commander Ren, although I have never been in proximity of him.” You swallowed hard. “What's this about, sir? Have I done something wrong?”

Hux shook his head, leaving the comfort of his corner alcove and taking a few steps toward you. “No, not at all. In fact, your performance has been exemplary. Exceeding expectation. This is not a reprimand.” His jaw ticked again. “As you know, Commander Ren keeps his residence here for the most part. However, as of late, he has been otherwise preoccupied.” The look on Hux's face made it seem like he was recalling a distant yet happy memory. There was a good amount he was straining not to say in order to maintain his professional demeanor. It would almost be humorous, if it wasn't so unnerving.

“Otherwise preoccupied meaning... not here?” That much was obvious, but you really wanted to move this conversation along and get to the 'impact your work' bit. What did Kylo Ren have to do with you?

“Precisely.” He nodded. “However, due to recent developments, Commander Ren will once again be taking up residency here to oversee the construction of the project. He will be, more or less, placed in charge of all strategic operations.” Every word was straining him, and a little vein was beginning to pop on his porcelain forehead, giving the impression his head was about to explode.

“I'm afraid I don't understand, sir. What does this have to do with my work?” You were becoming impatient. His hatred for the Knight was obvious, and from what you had heard, understandable, but you really wanted him to _get to the fucking point._

“I... Well, the Supreme Leader has deemed it necessary that Ren be placed here for the time being due to the nature of his assignment. It is our duty to carry out the will of the Supreme Leader, no matter how much we may disagree.” The words left his lips like a solemn vow, and his voice lowered considerably. “Commander Ren will, more or less, be placed in charge of _all_ operation and given what resources he requires to complete his task. Unfortunately, this directly impacts your duties, as well as my own.” His pallid skin flushed a deep shade of red. This guy _really_ fucking hated Kylo Ren.

“I'm sorry sir, I don't understand. I'm just an administrative assistant. I'm not a military strategist or anyone of importance. I don't see why my duties would change with the leadership.” Your confusion was genuine. What was Hux getting at?

“I'm afraid you're more than that. You should be quite proud. Even in the short time you've been here, under your guidance, things in this sector seem to be moving quite smoothly. People have taken notice.” His frosty eyes met yours and you felt an involuntary chill run down your spine. He had a distinct way of making you feel small and uncomfortable even when he was praising you. “Commander Ren, busy with his work, will be unable to attend to the day to day matters of paperwork and oversight over menial tasks. It was... suggested that perhaps someone of considerable talent and ethic could oversee these things for him.”

 _No_. No, no, no. You were not going to be Kylo Ren's fucking _wastebasket._ Taking on the tasks that he was _too good_ to do.

“In any other scenario, I would consider this to be quite the honor. Especially for one so new to this specific task. You have done well. With any luck, in a few months, Ren will be well on his way out and you will be promoted again.” Hux's gaze held your own, searching your face and body for any tells. You hoped your despair wasn't too horribly obvious.

“Sir, I... I'm honored, truly, but this is highly unnecessary. Surely there are others more deserving of such a task. I insist, surely I'm not ready.” _Honor. Deserving. Hilarious. Truly an honor to be appointed Kylo Ren's fucking trashcan._

As if reading your mind, Hux scowled again. “I'm afraid neither you nor I have any say in the matter. I made it quite well known that your talents were of far more use here under my command, but this decision was made above my head.”

_Above your head? Above your fucking head? You're the GENERAL of the First Order, who the fuck can overrule you?_

You brought your thumb to your mouth, chewing anxiously. You pulled your eyes from Hux's, wandering aimlessly around the room. This couldn't possibly get any worse. Working under Hux was by no means marvelous, but it was steady, stable. Safe. So long as you kept him appeased, he was courteous, albeit overbearing.

  
But Kylo Ren?

You had read the reports. You knew what he did with little to no provocation. Maiming, killing, slashing, scarring. Destruction. The man was chaos. A whirlwind of all encapsulating hate and anger. You had enough of that on your own time. The last thing you needed was to be working directly under someone who was even less together than you.

Hux must have sensed your anxiety shoot through the roof, as an uneasy grimace played on his lips. He raised his hand slightly, hesitating before he placed it lightly on your shoulder. You almost jumped from shock.

“My... dislike for Commander Ren is common knowledge. I made it quite clear that I was very much against one of my better subordinates being placed and wasted under his command.” He heaved a sigh, drumming his gloved fingers against the cloth of your shirt. Had he ever touched another human before? He wasn't very good at this whole 'comforting' thing. “Think of it as an opportunity, my dear. Ren is notoriously hard to work with, but I know you'll exceed expectations. When the time comes, it will be sufficient leverage for you to attain a position that is worth your while.”

Defeat. You hadn't ever quite felt it as strongly as you did now. Frustration reverberated in your bones, threatening to spill out of your eyes. You always hated that you cried when you were angry. It conveyed the wrong message.

“Yes, sir. I understand, General.” Biting the inside of your cheek, you gulped down the rest of your emotion. Now was not the time or the place. You could feel his breath on your neck and it send an harsh wave of goosebumps down your arms that rubbed awkwardly against your sleeves. Everything about this day was just so wrong.

“Very well.” He removed his hand promptly from your shoulder. “You will report to Command Center B tomorrow morning at your appointed time. Further details will be sent to you via your datapad. You may finish up the remainder of your work here for now.” With a curt nod, he pivoted on his heel and strode out of your office, leaving you to your misery.

As the door clicked shut behind him, you slammed your head onto your desk with a loud thump, knocking your datapad off its stand and sending it clattering down onto the harsh glass. It wasn't enough, you wanted to throw it. Wanted to overturn your desk, kick the chair, smash the damn datapad against the wall. Destroy everything in this fucking office.

Perhaps you and Commander would get along better than you initially thought.


	2. Florescent Lights and Black Leather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You had been absolutely, 100 percent certain that the real Kylo Ren couldn't possibly be any worse than your perception of him.   
> Well, you were wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, this story really is kind of lazy. I know I'm reusing the same words sentence after sentence (a pet peeve of mine) and my writing style is odd, but work has honestly been murder. I'm exhausted. Hopefully I'll kick up soon.

Command Center B was a large, populated office terminal on the upper levels of Star Killer. When not running around giving orders or being condescending somewhere, most higher ranking officers could be found loitering around here. It was a part of the ship that most lower level employees never got to see, with the exception of the janitors, who even then needed a fairly high clearance level to be able to access it. In essence, Command Center B was one place you didn't want to be if you were trying not to draw attention to yourself.

Which is precisely why you avoided it.

Just another reason you were so loathe to be sitting inside of it at exactly 0830, and had been sitting in it for over an hour with no sign of your new boss in sight. After all, when he showed up, you'd know. People would suddenly start shifting around fearfully and would suddenly be needed elsewhere on the ship. Anywhere else. Everyone but you, anyway.

Suffice it to say, you had learned your lesson yesterday and opted not to show up early. Instead, you dragged yourself out of bed around 0530 again, and decided to take the time to shower and do things right appearance wise. No point in giving Commander Ren even more of a reason to scrutinize you. After sitting in the burning water for well over an hour to wake yourself up, you dragged out your tools and put in the effort to look presentable. You were certain that anyone who looked too closely would be able to tell it was all a facade, but you didn't expect Ren to look too long, and he was the one you had to worry about.

Choosing to forgo any form of breakfast for fear of losing it in one way or another, you simply laid on your bed lamenting your life choices for another 30 minutes before trekking all the way up to the Command Center, where you arrived promptly on time at exactly 0730. No one had given you a second glance since.

So instead of working like you could have been doing should this whole mess had never happened, you sat impatiently tapping your foot against the metal of the chair you had plopped down on, halfheartedly skimming through old messages on your datapad so as not to look too horribly out of place. Although the break was nice somewhat, your anxiety was threatening to send you into cardiac arrest, so you'd rather get this whole ordeal over with sooner rather than later.

It wasn't for another 45 minutes that a nervous looking man wandered over to you, choosing to stand in your periphery vision and wait for you to notice him rather than announce his presence to you. After several dozen seconds of this nonsense, you finally peered up at him from behind your datapad, arching your brow in his direction. You weren't in the mood for niceties.

He gulped, dark eyes refusing to meet your own as he chewed the inside of his lip nervously before speaking. Were you really so terrifying? He ran a thin hand through his mussed cropped hair before extending it towards you in greeting. “Excuse me ma'am, my name is Ceril, badge ID CA-137. I've been informed that you're-”

“Commander Ren's executive administrator.” You finished the sentence for him. There was no way in all the worlds of the Maker you were going to allow him to finish it with _secretary._ You were _not_ Kylo Ren's fucking secretary. You'd rather rip off the heads of each individual in this room than be referred to as his secretary. You had worked yourself out of that position years ago mentally, and physically months ago. You'd be damned to let anyone throw you back there. Regardless, you extended your hand toward his, giving him as warm a smile as you could muster.

“Of course, we've all heard wonderful things about you here. It's an honor to be selected to work with such a high ranking member of the Order.” He bowed his head, allowing a flop of brunette bang to fall onto his forehead. “You must be proud!”

“Am I?” You hissed through clenched teeth behind a fake cackle. It was meant to be inaudible, but he had no doubt heard you as he glanced up at you with a look that seemed one part sympathetic, two parts terrified that you'd be overheard by someone other than himself and get the both of you in trouble. He was right, you should really keep your temper under control. Forcing a toothy smile, you beamed at him. “Absolutely. It's an honor to work directly under Commander Ren. Surely there's no finer accolade for _years_ of honest service than to work personally for Commander Ren.”

Okay, there was no way your sarcasm was going to keep under wraps, but luckily you were advanced enough in kissassery that you could make yourself seem utterly sincere.

Ceril's anxiety seemed to flush away and he returned your grin, bowing before you once again. “I agree. I could only dream of such an honor. Perhaps one day.” He mused. You'd happily trade him places right now. Would it be rude to ask if he was willing? “But onto the job itself, yes?”

You nodded, pushing down your skirt and doing your best to straighten your stockings inconspicuously with your palms before standing. He led you into a quiet corridor on the far side of the room, seemingly shuffling through information in his head and trying to remember exactly what his superior told him to say.

“As you know, Knight Commander Ren is an exceptionally busy man. We have been updated to his position on Star Killer and rest assured he arrived a few cycles ago, so you won't be without your duties for long.” Why didn't it surprise you that your new 'boss' was skulking around somewhere making someone miserable, but didn't find you or your time worthy of his attentions enough to show up? “In the mean time, I will be taking you to your new office so that you can set up.”

You followed him silently, allowing him to lead you further into the corridor. The longer you walked, the more deserted the walkways became, and the doors became few and further between until you came to an isolated hallway with only one door with a keypad at the end of the hall. Ceril swiped a card and typed in a code into the pad, and shortly afterwards the door opened with a few beeps and a rush of air. Inside was a hall with only three doors on opposite ends of the hall. You shot him a slightly worried look, as it was incredibly odd for any hall on in the Star Killer to be so empty.

“Commander Ren is a deeply private man. With the exception of the few he works with, he prefers to be alone. We do our best to accommodate his wishes.” He shuffled you through the archway, allowing the door to slide shut behind you with a hiss. “Your new office is the first on the right. This keycard and pin number will get you through this door, as well as into your office. The pin changes every day so be sure to check your datapad every morning. This area is classified, so we would advice you not to allow anyone other than yourself of Commander Ren inside.”

Ceril looked around for a moment before whispering to you. “Technically speaking, even I'm not allowed in here after today, so this is sort of exciting for me! I was hoping to catch a glimpse of Commander Ren before I left, but I can't have everything, I suppose.”

His naivety and optimism slightly annoyed you, but you couldn't fault him for being positive. After all, he didn't have to read the incident reports involving Ren. Instead, you gave him a half-smile as you both walked towards the door of your new office, punching in the code and scanning the card to allow yourself entry.

Despite the upgrade in security, the inside of your new workspace was very much similar to your old one, with the exception of being half the size. Same plastic plants. Same glass desk. Same black tile floor and chrome walls. The only difference is behind your desk, a big, beautiful window was mounted, looking out over the landscape. It wasn't often you got to see the outside anymore, and the snow, under the right conditions, could be quite beautiful. You decided it wasn't awful.

“I do hope it's to your liking.” Ceril grinned at you, admiring the office like he coveted one of his own. “Don't worry, you won't have to walk all this way to work either. The other office on this side belongs to Commander Ren, though I doubt he'll use it often. On the opposing side is a private elevator that very few have access to. You'll have clearance so long as you are working directly under Commander Ren. The coordinates from your living quarters to the elevator have been sent to your datapad.”

Nodding again, you thanked him for his time. He seemed reluctant to leave and return to whatever seemingly mundane task it was he normally tended to, but honestly, the time alone was something you were ready to kill for. You gave one last glance to your datapad, and found no new information other than the coordinates and schedule update.

“Ceril, what exactly is it I'm supposed to do until Commander Ren arrives? I have no new data in the archive and there's nothing for me to go over. No preemptive memos, no data, nothing.” You scanned over your various inboxes and message applications, all of which had practically been wiped clean.

“Well, get settled in, I suppose. The information and intelligence sent between you and Commander Ren is strictly classified to all but SALC personnel.” Sector A Level Clearance. A nice way of saying people who knew shit they shouldn't know. “Until he arrives and briefs you, feel free to settle in to your new office.”

He gave you one last glance before turning towards the door. “Should you need anything, my ID has been programmed into your messaging system. Please feel free to come to me with any questions. Also, congratulations on your promotion!”

He tipped his head to you before exiting, leaving you to your business. Heaving a sigh, you flopped down into your chair and placed your datapad on the stand. All settled in now.

1000.

You weren't sure which was worse, having nothing to do, or being so busy you could barely see straight. At least in here, no one could waltz in and leer over your shoulder. For what must have been a good half hour, you stared at an off colored tile on the floor that was more musty gray than charcoal gray. Odd. The First Order was normally so uniformed.

1045.

Your teeth hurt from grinding. Half of you was tempted to try and message some poor sap about IT issues, but the other part of you felt it was pathetic and awkward to think like that. It had only been a year since you had an honest to Maker conversation with a real human being. Surely you couldn't be that desperate?

1115.

You know, this desk was actually a fairly decent pillow under the right circumstances. It was cool to the face to counteract the warmth of the office. With your arm under your face, it was quite comfortable.

1145.

It was difficult to keep your eyes open at this point. It took an active effort to yank your eyelids up.

1230.

Darkness. You finally relented and allowed your eyes to relax. Not to nap, of course. Just to relax your eyes for a while. If silence had a sound, certainly it could have been heard in this room. In fact, you couldn't hear anything from the outside. Nothing at all. No matter where you were in the base, ships could always be heard landing and taking off, and the dull hum of engines was as constant as your own heartbeat. But in this room? Nothing at all. Had it been soundproofed?

1305.

Blackness.

Bliss.

Sleep.

No dreams, no distractions, just pure, wonderful sleep. Floating through a black abyss.

True happiness.

Pain.

_Wait, what?_

Pain prickling through your head. Burning in your skull. Your head was on fire. Seething, angry, hateful needles invading your mind. An endless headache.

_Make it stop!_

Your eyelids ripped themselves open. A cold, unforgiving surface rested underneath your cheek coupled with the agitation of grinding glass on flesh. Something was wrong.

You felt cold. More than cold, you felt frigid. Someone, or something, was watching you. You could feel the stare boring into your head like a drill. The headache didn't cease.

 

_Kylo Ren._

 

You had fallen asleep at your post. Even worse, you had fallen asleep at your desk and your new, tantrum throwing boss had caught you. Your muscles seized, and it was several seconds before you even had the wits to make the decision to face him. Not that there was any other choice.

_Will he cut my head off? At least make it quick._

As if zapped by an electro-shock prod, you jolted upright in your seat. You waited a brief moment before bringing your eyes upward towards towards the door frame. You were met with an wall of black. Yes, a wall described it perfectly. Black robes, black boots, black gloves and a hulking tower of a man hidden underneath. Sure enough, Kylo Ren himself stood in your office, and although you couldn't make out his face behind his menacing mask, you were willing to bet your life he was less than pleased.

“C-Commander Ren! I was just-”

“Thinking of a worthy excuse.” Even beneath the distortion of his vocoder, his voice was a deep baritone, and his displeasure was evident. He stalked forward from the frame, taking several steps toward you and raising himself to his full height.

He wasn't just big. He was massive. A mountain of man, if he even was a man. An ebony monster who was perched to pounce. You could feel yourself shrink down in your seat, trying in vain to evade his piercing gaze. You must have appeared pitiful.

To hell with pitiful.

You had been caught, and there was no way around that. The most you could do now is hope he respected your honesty. Smoothing your skirt with your hands, you summoned up your courage and raised yourself from your chair, pulling on what cleverness you could muster to get yourself out of this situation. However, you quickly regretted that as you slowly stepped towards him. The closer you got, the larger he felt. An abyss of black encompassing you. You had to crane your neck upwards just to look him in his where you assumed his eyes were, and it seemed to be counteracting every ounce of false courage you had. Even without the force, this man could snap your neck with his bare hands. His very large hands.

“Commander Ren, you have my deepest apologies. I wasn't sure whether or not to expect your presence today, and I haven't been sleeping well. I-”

“And you thought that sleeping on my time was acceptable?” No emotion was evident in his voice, but you could practically feel his irritation radiating from him. Was this that force that everyone was always on about?

“Absolutely not, sir. There's no excuse.” You lowered your head as a sign of submission, but the voice in your head never stopped raging.

_Fine, you fucking jackass. You were the one who was literally hours late, but go ahead and take your bullshit out on me. I can take it. I've had worse._

He cocked his head to the side slightly, clenching his hands in and out of a fist. He was inspecting you, for what you didn't know, but you could almost feel his heavy gaze. You let him. After all, you were in no position to argue. It was several moments before either of you spoke, all the while you kept your eyes to the floor.

“It would be most beneficial for you to know that I will not tolerate any impudence from you.”

Dread knotted in your stomach. You weren't entirely sure what you had been expecting. After all, this was the Commander. Did you really expect a warm welcome followed by tea time?

“Sir, I know we've gotten off on the wrong foot. I just want to apologize and tell you sincerely that I-”

“Others may have been more lenient with you in the past, but you will have no such treatment from me.” He brought his gloved hand up and ran his fingers over his palm, as if to show you how easily he could crush you if he pleased. “You will come to understand that I am not so easily swayed by a pout on a pretty face.”

_Fucking what? 'A pout on a pretty face?' Is this some sort of joke?_

“I'm sorry sir, I'm afraid I don't understand.” Truthfully, this man could cut you in half and you should be playing to his every whim and command to keep from perishing, but pride was a terrible thing. Your lip twitched in irritation at his insinuation that you had somehow seduced your superiors until you attained your position. You earned this, you earned everything you had. Who the hell was he to tell you otherwise?

“That does not surprise me.”

Irritation was giving way to raw fury. Words were crawling up your throat faster than you could stop them.

“Excuse me bu-”

“Enough.” He held his hand out in front of him, flexing it slightly. You felt a light pressure on your throat, and your headache persisted. You understood why Hux loathed this man. “Seeing as you had enough leisure time to sleep, I'm sure you'll have no problem sorting through all the reports that are piling up.”

“I've checked my datapad multiple times today, sir. There's nothing there.” You hid your hands behind your back, digging your nails into your palm so hard that you were sure to have scabs the next day.

“Check again.”

And with a whirlwind of black in his wake and a vacuum of air where he had stood, he was gone.

So that was him. That _thing_ was Kylo Ren. Impudent. You could show him impudent.

Forcing your way back towards your desk and datapad, you logged in and sure enough, there was at least a dozen reports waiting for you. A single report took almost two hours to run through, and your work day was already half over.

It took every ounce of willpower you had to not smash your fist into a wall.

_Fucking prick._

 

On the bright side, maybe you would get some sleep tonight.

 


	3. Master and Servant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up between you and Kylo Ren, and not in the fun way. At least you don't think. 
> 
> Also known as "Kylo is an even bigger asshole than you possibly imagined, and the limit was pretty much sky high as it was."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All ya'll ready for this? 
> 
> Okay seriously though, this is where it starts getting into "Dear Jesus" territory, so those of you who don't have these kinks, ya'll best wanna jet or else you're just going to be like "Why the hell would anyone ever hang around for this?" 
> 
> By the way, thank you to all the reviewers, I love ya'll, and a special love you to the bookmarks. Kudos to all my kudos.

Since your last altercation with Kylo Ren a few weeks ago, things had been running surprisingly smooth. You hadn't even really seen him since, with the exception of the back of his bucket/helmet/cowl as he stalked off from his office as you arrived in the mornings. He never acknowledged you, and for that you were grateful. After last time, you weren't exactly anxious to meet with him again.

In fact, the only time you heard so much as a peep from him was when he occasionally sent you messages on your datapad about needing random compiles of data or annotated reports 'immediately', usually with the words 'slow', 'incompetent', and 'insubordinate' mixed in somewhere. You stopped reading anything below the subject line after the first two messages.

Luckily, for the most part, you were an expert on finishing all the reports before he even had a chance to demand them. On the off days he did manage to find an excuse to yell at you via messenger, you could swear it was because he was actively looking for a reason. Whatever, as long as he kept his distance and you didn't have to feel that pulsing pain in your head.

The dude literally gave you a headache.

If it wasn't Kylo Ren you were working under, this promotion actually might have been pretty nice. You and Ren seemed to have an understanding of mutual dislike, so he left you alone and vice versa unless absolutely necessary. As an added bonus, your office was in a classified section, so there was no one to come in and distract you. Granted, it could be maddeningly quiet at times without all the background noise that you had grown accustomed to, seeing as you were officially completely certain that these rooms had been soundproofed.

Things had been going well enough that you had actually managed to get some sleep, although you didn't dare nap in your office again, since Ren would more than likely take any excuse to remove your head from your neck at this point. You'd even started eating in the mornings again, making a quick run by the cafeteria before work.

The cafeteria wasn't exactly famous for gourmet meals, especially in the mornings, but they did have a decent array of muffins and light bread products, enough to make it through to lunch anyways. There were other restaurants and bars littered throughout the base, but they were only opened after standard work hours. If you wanted good food during the day, you had to have access to the upper tier cantina, which was only for higher-ups like the admirals and captains. No one in their right mind would come to the cafeteria during work hours willingly when they had access to the Captain's Cantina.

Which is why you were completely astounded to see General Hux strutting towards you as you grabbed your daily breakfast. You might not have noticed if it wasn't for the dash of bright red hair beelining for you above the crowd and the First Order issued pea coat he wore. None of the underlings got to wear coats that spiffy.

“General Hux, it's a surprise to see you here. How can I be of service, sir?” You did your best to sound professional with a mouthful of muffin. He looked around distastefully at the cafeteria, not seeming to notice your quick attempt to hard swallow your half chewed food.

“Yes, a surprise is one word for it.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth with a scowl. It was painfully obvious he hadn't ever stepped one perfectly polished boot inside anywhere solely meant for the underlings. Shaking his head to return his focus, he turned his attentions to you. “How are you settling in to your position?”

“Well enough, sir. Commander Ren is... difficult to appease, but I've yet to run into problems.”

_Unless you count him taking every opportunity to insult me as a problem, but I just figured it was one of his many, many charms._

“I'm pleased to hear it. Commander Ren is an exceptionally difficult man. However, I knew you'd be able to handle him. It will look remarkable on your record.” Hux gave you as close as he could get to a smile, which came off more as an 'I need to use the bathroom terribly' face. You bit your lip to avoid chuckling.

“Thank you, sir. I am pleased to hear of your approval.”

“Yes. As always, impeccable.” He nodded stiffly, mentally categorizing your sycophantic spiel under satisfactory. He was a sucker for a suck up. “I just wished to tell you that should this assignment be completed with suitable approval, which I have no doubt of, I have made arrangements for you to have a permanent assignment under my command. It will, of course, be a promotion and you will be moved to a sector closer to my own as well as an upgraded living cabin and a considerable pay raise. It will also assure that no more nasty surprises happen with your command structure.”

Hux studied your face in search of a tell on your thoughts, and you couldn't help but feel ecstatic. You knew this meant that Hux would more than likely be hovering over you even more, but after Ren, you'd take it. Not to mention an upgraded living cabin meant no more tiny bed, no more itty bitty shower, no more _fucking leaking sink._

“Sir, I don't know what to say. I accept, I absolutely accept.”

“I'm pleased to hear it.” And he did look pleased. Hux had a rather smarmy look on his face, like a team captain that had managed to pick the best player despite it being the opposing team's turn to choose. It mattered little to you, since you'd rather risk working under Hux for the remainder of your career rather than some other prick who could abuse your ethics, or Maker forbid Kylo Ren. At least Hux acknowledged the work you did. “Very well, I will begin the formal paperwork.”

With that, he turned on his heel and strode out of the cafeteria with his hands clasped behind his back, his fingers tapping gently on his forearms. You scooped your muffins up into your arms and quickly walked towards your elevator. It was almost 0730, and if you were late, you knew it would be the one day Kylo Ren would be waiting to berate you for it.

Just as you suspected, when you arrived at your office, Ren was nowhere to be seen. Probably off scaring children somewhere. It was better that way, since by the looks of it, you had several new reports to categorize. Settling into your desk, you mentally prepared yourself for another day of work.

Several hours later and the reports were coming along nicely. They always did. That was the good thing about working with this system. It was neat to learn about the people and different planets in the reports, it was all mentally stimulating. You knew a lot about the different places that dealt with the First Order, information that would have been rough to come by otherwise. You actually enjoyed reading through them.

_OUTER RIM 43226: People of trading outpost seem unwilling to cooperate or trade with First Order operatives or outsiders. However, local intelligence suggests a lack of Craeton, with difficulty to come by. Possible leverage if willing to acquire and negotiate a standing deal with local trade leaders. Undercover operatives also suggest a-_

The harsh sound of suctioning air broke the silence in your office. You felt the icy tendrils of anxiety creeping up your gut. Only one person ever entered your office, and you knew precisely who that was.

And things seemed to be going so well.

Inhaling as quietly as you possibly could, you braced yourself for whatever ridiculous treatment you were about to receive.

“Commander Ren, what a pleasant surprise. How may I help you?” Dragging your eyes up to his mask, it took active effort to conceal the displeasure from showing in your facial expression. The pulsing headache was back, as it always was when he was in the vicinity. What happened to your unspoken agreement of 'we don't speak unless it's any way but face to mask?'

He simply stood quietly, staring at your for several moments before speaking. You assume it was some odd way he asserted his dominance. An involuntary shiver rocked your body as whatever it was that was underneath that bucket studied you. “You were sent coordinates to a planet earlier. You will give them to me.”

Planetary coordinates? That isn't the type of thing that would normally come through you, even if the intended addressee was Kylo Ren. After all, you weren't a pilot. Coordinates meant literally nothing to your station.

“I'm sorry, sir, but I don't believe so. I only receive intelligence reports, memos, and other stationary letters addressed to or from you. Unless the coordinates came from you, they would have been forwarded to your ID.” You stated, using your most practiced professional voice.

“These would not have been addressed to me, and neither would they have been from me. I would not be wasting my time here with you if they had been. You are wearing my patience. You will find them for me. Quickly.”

Gritting your teeth, you decided it was easier to concede than it was to argue with him. There were no coordinates in your damn inbox. You'd send him a screenshot of the entire fucking thing if it made him leave quicker.

“Very well sir, I will search for them and send them to your inbox as soon as I-”

“You will find them immediately, and you will give them to me here as well as forwarding the message.” The squeak of leather against leather could be heard, and you knew he was flexing his fists again. Was that some sort of fucking comfort thing for him? Like a baby blanket but for an overgrown man-child?

“Okay, sir. I'll search for you.”

Huffing, you exited out of the report and entered your inbox, making a mental note of which paragraph you were on. You slowly scanned through your messages, willing to bet your paycheck that there was no damn coordinates in there.

_Intel. Intel. Storm trooper weapons report. Computer terminal damage report. Wall damage report. Private Property Damage with additions by General Hux. Intel. Kriffing kriff, Ren, tantrum much? Command Shuttle Repair synopsis..._

A few seconds later, you noticed a message that didn't have one of the usual keywords, and even stranger, it was addressed from General Hux to his personal staff. Odd, considering you should have been taken off that mailing list. Curious, you clicked it.

_General A. Hux sent to all command staff,_

_T.S. Priority message relay to all personnel to be added for data entry upon notification from superiors._

_-0.384 2.87 -4.563_

_Under no circumstances to be relayed to Military sector 1 or below._

You noticed the muscles in Ren's shoulder twitch as you scanned the message. Impatient prick. You ignored it in favor of rereading the last sentence of the message.

'Under no circumstances to be relayed to Military sector 1 or below.' It was a disguised way of saying “Do NOT tell show/tell this to anyone who reports to Commander Ren.

Oh shit.

You were stuck between a Ren and a hard place.

General Hux obviously didn't want this information to get back to Commander Ren, which made you wonder why in kriff he allowed it to get back to you in the first place. Both were your superiors, but technically, you worked under Commander Ren now. However, the message was fairly clear... Under no circumstances was this information to get back to Ren.

_Thanks, Hux. You've really fucked me now. Either you execute me or he kills me right here right now._

“Sir, I found... something. But I don't think I have... the authorization to relay it.” You spit the words out like a foul taste. What a pathetic thing to say, no matter how truthful. A sharp noise broadcasted from his vocoder and he stomped towards you, slamming his hands down on your desk. You swallowed hard, biting back the fear that was rising in your throat. You would not be intimidated.

“Tell me, girl, what is my title?” His words were calm, precise, calculated. It was more unsettling than if he had shouted them.

“Commander Ren.” You gnawed at your lip, forcing yourself to stare at the empty space on his visor. _Disassociate. Disassociate._

“Then who commands you if not me?” He cocked his head to the side, drumming his fingers on the glass next to your hand. You did not like this proximity.

“You, sir. It's just General Hux sai-”

Like a viper striking from his nest, his arm shot forward, catching your cheeks in his hand. His fingers dug painfully into your jaw and a small, traitorous whimper escaped your throat. He leaned forward further, his mask only inches from your own head. He pushed the leather of his gloves into the flesh of your face, allowing you a few seconds to comprehend what had just happened.

“Who commands you?” His voice was a low growl that send waves of dread through you. Your lips trembled as you struggled to speak between the fear and his clutch.

“Y-you do, sir.”

“Good girl. Who is your master?” His helmet was so close now you could practically feel the vibrations from it when he spoke. You tried to pull your body from his grasp, but he did not relent his grip on your face, opting to strengthen it instead. Pain splintered through your jaw as he pulled harder at the skin.

“You, sir, you are! Please!”

“Then why would you think I give even a modicum of a thought as to what _Hux_ ordered?”

“I don't! Let go of me you fuc-”

“Do not make me ask again.” He still refused to relinquish his grip, and you were certain if he clenched any harder, your jaw bone might actually shatter. Hands shaking, you pushed the buttons on your datapad as fast as they would load, forwarding the message to Ren.

“There! I sent it! Now let me go!” You dropped your datapad on the desk and clawed at his wrist, attempting to pull him off you. As quickly as he was there, he was gone, retreating his arm back into the confines of his cloak.

You both sat for a moment in palpable silence. A cocktail of emotion was raging in your mind. Anger, rage, fear, and something you couldn't place. It didn't matter. You hated him. Taking the few peaceful seconds to breathe the fire out of your lungs and recuperate, you plucked your datapad up from the desk and resumed working, or at least did your best to give the illusion that you did.

_GetoutofmyofficegetoutofmyofficegetoutofmyofficegetoutofmyofficegetoutofmyofficegetoutofmyofficegetoutofmylifegetoutofmyofficegetoutofmyfuckingofficegetoutgetoutGETOUT_

“If that will be all, Commander Ren, I'm sure you'll want these reports in a timely manner.” It took every ounce of strength to keep your words from faltering. You were not easily shaken, not even close, but in plain terms, the Commander of the first order had just made your face his fucking stress ball.

He didn't move. He continued to sit like some abominable eldritch statue in front of your desk.

The dam was breaking.

“I don't know what your fucking problem is, but unless you feel the need to assault me further, I have work to do.”

And there it was. Years and years of 'customer service voice' and Kylo Ren had managed to break you in two weeks.

Son of a bitch.

You wondered what it was like to die via lightsaber. You figured you were about to find out.

But Kylo Ren didn't reach for his weapon. He only continued to stare, tilting his head to the side once more. You did your best to ignore him, admittedly typing nonsense into an message addressed to no one.

“Impudent girl.”

_Ignore him. Don't dig your grave deeper than you already have. If he's going to kill you, he can do it without the satisfaction of seeing the light leave your eyes._

To your utter amazement, he simply turned and walked toward the door. Your sigh of relief was audible. You had been so sure that for a minute there-

“You will report to Docking Bay A tomorrow at exactly 0600 with your First Order issued travel case.”

“Wait, what?”

“Are you hard of hearing as well as insolent? I made myself clear.”

Docking Bay A was where all the high command ships were housed. The only people who had any business there were the captains who piloted them and the engineers who repaired them. You were neither.

“Sir, I'm not-”

“You will be there, or it will be in violation of a direct command.”

The door practically slammed shut behind him. An near impossible task for a mechanical door.

You know what? You had been wrong all along. Maybe that janitorial job back home hadn't been such a bad idea after all.

 


	4. Do I Wanna Know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the hell is wrong with this guy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry folks, I was on a real roll there for a while and then I just sorta stopped. Things have been hard, but hopefully they'll not be like that anymore. I don't know, mate. 
> 
> I'm really not crazy about this chapter. Like not at all. I had it half written weeks ago and half written now so it's kinda wild, and I'll admit that my mind isn't all here. I'll rewrite it later or something.

In all the years you had worked for the First Order, you had, for the most part, managed to completely avoid the docking bays. With the exception of being taken to your first assignment aboard a dreadnought, then being moved here from said ship after your transfer, you completely avoided any form of cruiser, shuttle, or small vessel. You had kept it that way on purpose.

Yet here you stood, earlier than the Maker himself knew existed, in the docking bay of your base. You grasped at the handle of your travel bag so roughly that the nylon was starting to burn your hands. Nerves threatened to overturn your stomach contents onto the floor.

You hated this, and more specifically, you hated him.

It had taken you several hours after your shift last cycle to ice down the swelling in your jaw, and even longer to cover the outline of his hands across your mouth. Not only had his behavior been completely inappropriate and out of line, but he had made you of all people lose your self control on the job.

And on the same damn day that Hux had offered you the cushy position that would cement your comfort. Now that was unforgivable.

You had forgone reporting the incident to anyone and prayed to whatever force was out there that Kylo Ren had done the same. Seeing as he had opted not to kill you and had even demanded your presence the next day, not to mention his notorious lone wolf status, you figured he likely wouldn't be the one to say anything. You weren't sure whether that soothed your mind, or made matters worse.

Actually, you weren't sure what to expect at all today. Only that you would likely be miserable and out of place.

You were already painfully out of place.

The few pilots and engineers that were working in the bay kept giving you questioning glances, no doubt wondering what the kriff you were doing loitering around here and why. Administration and manual workers often didn't mix well, in any sense of the word. They saw administration as uptight, wimpy glory hounds and administrations saw laborers as lazy, dawdling, and unfit for anything requiring any real form mental process. You didn't really care for the rivalry, since you kept mostly to yourself anyway, but they thought no better of you none the less.

You felt foolish sitting there twiddling your thumbs at such an ungodly hour, very obviously out of place. You tried to give weak smiles to the few workers that passed you, but most either brushed you off with a curt nod or gave you a quizzical raise of the eyebrow. You felt even more out of place than you normally did among the rest of Starkiller.

Yet another reason you hated the loading docks and this entire situation in particular.

After several more moments, you found yourself looking around the large room for a chair to sit in, or maybe even just a spare pallet or something to set your bag down on. You felt like a sore thumb just hanging around the dock in your uniform press skirt and button up in comparison to the numerous oily jumpsuits and caps around you, not to mention your feet were starting to hurt from standing sedentary in the black heels. Occasionally you kicked them around, trying to get the blood flow pumping again when you could feel your toes start to tingle.

That's when you saw it. Or more specifically, felt it. A flash of black and the feel of cloth scraping against your arm. Kylo Ren stormed past you without a glance, leaving you standing awkwardly on the platform. Did he expect you to follow? He had to expect you to follow, right?

He stopped several feet in front of you. He remained facing away, but turned his head slightly as he raised his hand, flicking two fingers forward in a gesture for you to follow. He then continued onward, ignoring you again.

Scowling, you trudged after him, dragging your bag along with you. His long strides equaled about two or three of your little ones, so you figured you looked ridiculous skittering after him, which only deepened your displeasure at the situation. However, like some sort of misfortune demon, he seemed to sense your utter despair and quickened his pace, leaving you to jog awkwardly after him.

At the far end of the hangar, he stopped in front of a sleek black ship. His personal shuttle. Only his handpicked mechanic and her team was allowed anywhere near it. Given the wide berth the rest of the mechanics and gearheads were giving it, it was a rule that was seriously enforced. Stopping in front of it, he started fiddling with a control panel on the outside before lowering the ramp and stepping inside.

With a frustrated groan, you set your bags outside the shuttle, absolutely determined to _not_ to leave Star Killer and instead return to your normally scheduled work, or at least your room. Doing your best to walk up the ramp into the ship with dignity which was mildly difficult given the heels, you poked your head inside to find Kylo Ren in the pilot's seat, punching different buttons and coordinates, you assumed.

“Commander Ren, sir, I-”

“Would it ease your mind to know that no matter what it is you intend to say to me, the outcome of this conversation will be the same?”

_Fucking jackass._

“Sir, look, I-”

“You will board this ship along with your possessions, and we will depart. Anything you might have to say on the matter is irrelevant to me.”

“Sir, I'm not cleared to fly! It's against regulations, and it takes weeks for administrations to even get through the requests! It would be completely against protocol for me to board this ship.” You crossed your arms. “Due to the rules, I cannot board this ship, and I cannot depart with you.” A smug smile tried to break through your mask of indifference. You let it, ever so slightly.

“Your clearance has been fast tracked and approved.” Your smile faded. “I will forward the paperwork, if you wish. As I said before, you will retrieve your belongings, and we will depart. Be quick about it.”

“What about the co-pilot? Shouldn't we wait for one of them or-” Your mind was going ten thousand miles an hour searching every nook and cranny of your brain for an excuse. This ship _cannot_ leave, _you cannot leave. Not out there._

“I have no co-pilot. You are wasting time on purpose.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“But there's a co-pilot chair right there.”

“You are testing my patience, girl. That is unwise. You are a slow learner. Must we teach you this lesson again?” His helmet turned from the panel and slowly toward you. Sparks shot through your stomach, but you still didn't move from your position.

“Retrieve your bags from the floor. You will not enjoy the consequences of me having to do it for you.”

Your heart shot through the floor. This was happening, whether you wanted it to or not. On top of that, worlds-edgiest-boss was on the verge of getting violent with you again, and in the confines of this shuttle in space, there would be no one there to save you. Your every instinct screamed at you to run, but where? It was better to just acquiesce. After all, he wanted to talk about consequences? There were going to be consequences alright. Consequences for him dragging you into deep space, the one place you had managed to do your best to avoid acknowledging ever since you jetted off your home planet.

“Very well, sir.” Gritting your teeth, you tittered back down the ramp, scooping your bag from the floor with a deep sigh. This was it. This was happening. You walked back into the ship as slowly as you could without angering him further. The ramp began to lift as you stepped onto it, forcing your feet to move. In another moment of anger, you nearly spit flames.

You practically threw your bag onto the lounge behind the pilot pit and sat down with a stressed huff. With your head in your hands, you hoped to high heaven that he couldn't see your eyes slammed shut, not out of frustration, but fear. On a shuttle. In space. With Kylo Ren. Your ultimate nightmare.

Beeping and grinding noises were coming from the control panel but you couldn't bring yourself to look up. You didn't want to know how close you were to taking off. It mattered little, since the whirring of the machine slowly became more and more high pitched, you knew that the engines had fired and you were only seconds from launch. Your hands instinctively reached down and gripped the leather of the lounge, like if you didn't hold on for dear life, you would be catapulted through the glass screen and into space.

You weren't entirely wrong, as you could tell the exact moment the ship lifted into space and took off. You lurched forward, catching yourself on the lounge with your elbows. Your bag flew off the seat and hit the back of the ship, more than likely spewing your belongings all over the floor like vomit.

A garbled noise came from inside Ren's helmet, and for a moment, you could swear to the Maker he was _laughing_ at you.

How long would you be sent to prison if you straight up smacked the back of his helmet with your hand?

Another garbled noise.

Still, you couldn't bring yourself to look upwards, because if you did, you would see _it._ Both the _its_. Space and Commander Ren. You weren't entirely sure which one you disliked more right now. Instead of thinking on it, you curled yourself into ball on the lounge and kept your eyes clamped shut, praying that you could sleep until you reached nice, safe ground again.

Fate wasn't so kind.

It could have been minutes or hours that you laid there like that, avoiding looking around you or at anything that wasn't the back of your eyelids. Anything to try to fool yourself into thinking this was just a vicious nightmare and the real you was safe on base, tucked into her bed tossing and turning. The only sound that you could hear was the soft whir of the engine around you and an occasional telling beep from the control panel, which was usually quickly silenced by your brooding boss. This went on for what seemed like an eternity.

You nearly jumped when you heard him speak to you after what was likely hours of pretending he didn't exist.

“Come here, girl.”

“What?” You spat, almost daring him to speak again. You hoped whatever it was he needed, he would deem it unimportant since you were dead set on making his every interaction with you as unpleasant as physically possible.

“I said _come here, girl._ ” His voice walked an edge between impatience and straight anger. It wasn't wise to defy him, but your fear of what waited beyond the glass was more overwhelming than your fear of Commander Ren's hissy fits.

“I'd rather not.... Sir.” You curled into a tighter ball on the sofa in an act that was half defiance and half pleading. Maybe if he saw his worker act so unprofessionally, he might realize it was out of pure fear rather than simply to annoy him.

“It wasn't a request.”

Biting your lip so hard that you were amazed blood didn't start to leak, you slowly, slowly sat up from your position on the sofa. Your hands were shaking as they gripped the lounge like a vice. You managed to push yourself up and begin walking toward him like an infant that had just taken its first steps. You kept your eyes steadily on the floor, refusing to look up and meet his gaze or your surroundings. You made your way over to him, only stopping when you felt the back of his seat gently pad against your side.

“What is it, sir?” Your nails dug into your palms, leaving crescent shaped bruises against the soft skin of your hands. You prayed he couldn't see that your eyes were still firmly clamped shut again.

“You're afraid.” His vocader sounded closer, and you knew he had turned to face you. “And not of me.”

“I... I don't like flying, and I don't like space.” Another garbled noise from his helmet. What the hell was that sound?

“Dislike seems to be quite the understatement.”

“Will that be all, sir?” Your temper flared.

“Sit.”

“I was sitting, and then you called me here.”

“Sit in the co-pilot seat.” He gestured to the chair next to him.

Your mind had a visceral reaction to that, and you violently shook your head, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “No, sir, just no, I can't, look-”

“ _Sit._ ” His voice wasn't angry or impatient, in fact it was almost gentle. Without even thinking to argue, you sat down and your behind found the cushion of the seat next to Ren's. In an almost dreamlike daze, you turned to face him, almost as if awaiting further orders. Slowly the fog lifted from your head, and all you could do was blink at him with an extremely confused look on your face.

“Wait, what the hell... Did you just fucking mindfuck me?” Your finger prodded his chest in anger. His pectoral was surprisingly hard, and his chest felt like a steel wall. This guy was definitely built. Not surprising, but you hadn't ever really considered what was underneath all the robes before.

Another garbled noise. Now that you were closer, you could tell he was most definitely chuckling or something similar. It was unsettling enough to know he was laughing, but now you were just straight up unnerved since he could somehow mind control you into doing his bidding.

“Listen buddy, I don't care _who_ you are, don't _ever_ mind control me!” Your finger repeatedly hit his stomach in an effort to get the point across, and you could quite literally feel his abs jutting. Okay, Bossman McBroody wasn't just built. He was _ripped._

“In your anger, did you fail to realize that you no longer feel that fear permeating your mind?”

Space. You could feel it. You could fucking _see_ it. The glass adjacent to you gave you a deep, inside look at one of your deepest fears. End endless black abyss surrounding you. Emptiness. Vast fucking oceans of nothing. A whirlwind of anxiety and stress pooled in your gut and you shoved your head back into your hands, thinking of ground, of grass, of a lake and sand, of anything _but fucking space._

“You feel it again.” His vocader was inches from your ear. He had leaned in towards you. Horrible as it was, it took every ounce of self control not to lean back into him and shield yourself from everything inside his robes. Even he was preferable to the situation within your vision. “Fear is a weakness. You would do well to snuff it out.”

“With all due respect, _sir,_ I'm just an administrative assistant. I'm not supposed to be anywhere near the ships _ever._ I'm not supposed to be required or cleared to fly.”

“You're _my_ administrative assistant. Clearly, I'm not at Star Killer base regularly. You will need to get used to flying with me.” Strangely, his voice wasn't harsh, but almost sympathetic and gentle again. You peeked your eye through your fingers up at him again, doing your best to avoid the scenery. His helmet was positioned downward to face you, so it was fair to assume he was looking back at you. A chill ran down your spine.

“I was under the impression I was only working under you temporarily. More specifically, until you left the base.”

He said nothing in return, only turned from you and faced the glass again.

Swallowing hard, you turned your head back into your hands. Maybe it would be possible to sleep like this, since he hadn't exactly given you permission to leave the seat. He was seemingly trying to adjust you to the cold expanse of space, so he likely wouldn't take well to you curling back in a ball on the lounge.

“You may have the bedroom. It is in the back of the ship. You will not be needed until we land.” His voice, even through the vocader, was so calm and almost human. It was starting to weird you out. You peered up at him again quizzically. Was he being _nice?_

“T-Thank you sir, but where will you sleep?” Were _you_ being nice? What the hell was happening right now? “I mean, you do need to sleep and... other stuff, don't you?” A fierce blush bloomed on your face at the accidental implication. You did not mean to think about what Kylo Ren does when he's  _alone._ That was certainly none of your business. Let alone what he does when he's alone  _in bed._

He turned toward you again, and you swore to the Maker that you could literally feel Ren's smirk grow beneath his mask. “Concerned about me? How precious. I've earned your affections.”

Alright, so Ren was clearly a confusing person, but this was ridiculous. First with the violent 'You will obey me' nonsense, and now he was uncomfortably jesting with you? What the hell was he trying to pull? It's okay, two could play that game. He wanted to play the 'who could be the most obnoxious' game, you knew for a fact you could win.

You cocked your head to the side, smiling sweetly up at him through your batting lashes. “Oh sir, I'd say you're the one who is concerned about me. After all, you're giving me the _master_ bedroom. Commander Ren gives his administrative assistant _his_ bedroom? What's next? Kylo Ren adopts a kitten? Whatever will people say back on the base? People might start to think that you're not actually a scary jerk after all.”

You could practically feel the smile melt off his face.

“Then you had best hurry, before I change my mind and start playing on that _nasty_ reputation.”

With a triumphant smile, you quickly stood and turned from the glass, leaving him behind you. Kicking your bag and scattered belongings into the room, you turned before shutting the door and in a sickly sweet singsong voice called “Goodnight, Commander Ren!”

He said nothing, but you heard that garbled noise come from the front of the ship again.

 


	5. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You ever wonder what his gloves taste like? You're about to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, folks. Fresh from my phone. Things are about to get weeeeeird.

“Awaken”

_No._

“Awaken at once”

_Come on._

“If you don’t rise, I will be forced to gather you myself”

_Wait, huh?_

The foggy dreamworld you had been wandering in slowly began to lift, no matter how fiercely you clawed at it. Dread welled in your stomach like some awful flood. Where were you? Who was talking?

“This will be your last warning before I will raise you by force.”

You pried your eyes open slowly, the fuzz of sleep still clouding your vision. Darkness... and something else? You could feel eyes on you, and for some reason that filled you with anxiety.

_Oh fuck. Kylo Ren._

You shot up, whipping your head around. You found the part of the room where you could sense a presence, and it quickly became apparent that he was quite literally looming over you. Creepy as that was, it was made ten times worse by the fact you were in your night dress. A night dress that was currently giving your boss a good view of your legs and a fairly unprofessional view of your cleavage.

Coming to terms with the situation, you scrambled to cover yourself.

“What the hell, man!” You quickly yanked the blanket you had forgone up to your chest to cover your exposed form. The built in heaters made the room quite hot, so the blanket felt more for decoration than anything. Naturally, forgetting your surroundings, you had kicked it off in your slumber. “Aren’t you supposed to knock or something?”

“We have arrived. And in case you have forgotten, these are my quarters.”

“Yeah, I gathered that much! Your quarters that you offered me! What if I slept naked or something?”

He cocked his head slightly, and didn’t speak for several seconds. “The situation would remain the same.”

“Sure, with the exception that my BOSS would have seen me naked! I don’t know about you, but that’s not exactly a situation I want to be in!”

That same, staticky noise emitted from his vocader.

“Are you laughing at me? Is that what that is?” Temporarily losing your head, you jumped out of bed and narrowed your eyes on him, almost ready to all out brawl the commander. “First you barge in here without knocking, then you throw the fact you offered me the room in my face, and now you’re _laughing_ at me?”

He said nothing, but his helmet slowly moved downward over you, and then equally as slowly back up. You weren’t sure whether he was trying to intimidate you, or whether he was checking you out. Heat shot through your belly and between your thighs.

_'Maker, has it seriously been that long since I’ve been laid? This is Kylo Ren we’re talking here. He probably doesn’t even understand the concept. Remind me to sign up for a dating site or something when I get back to base.'_

You shook yourself from those thoughts

“It’s not going to work. You can’t intimidate me out of being mad.” You craned your head up to look up at him and quickly crossed your arms over your chest. “It’s unprofessional. If you would like your quarters back, you can have them, but if you’re going to allow me to stay here, it doesn’t give you free access to just barge in. A knock would have woken me, and so would have a message on my data pad. I’m still your employee and here to work, but protocol states when you give me permission to sleep off base, I’m off the clock until otherwise notified.”

He stayed silent, but took a few steps further until he was hovering over you, the cloth of his robes brushing against you. Goosebumps ran down your arms at the contact. He was just so large. It was like standing next to a pillar. Apparently his sheer height was one of his tactics. Slowly, he bent down and placed his helmet next to your ear. More goosebumps.

“You have 5 minutes to make yourself decent. After that time has run out, I will carry you out of this ship, nightgown or otherwise. I would suggest you don’t keep me waiting.”

With that, he turned on his heel and stormed out, the door hissing behind him.

_Fucking jerk, who the hell does he think he is?_

You scrambled around the room, quickly stripping your nightgown off and swiftly replacing it with your uniform. You should have known better than to think Kylo Ren would have common manners, but couldn’t very well sleep in your work uniform. It would have wrinkled it, which is very much against regulation, and you didn’t have room to bring the necessary items that would smooth out the material.

The stockings took the longest, making sure they were properly clasped and concealed. You could opt for tights, but frankly those are lost in the depths of the bag you packed, and there was definitely no time for that. Besides, stockings were more comfortable, and weren’t made of the same scratchy material that the first order issued. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them, right? Besides, who was going to be looking?

After slipping on your heels, you gave a quick look in the mirror. There was absolutely no time to pull your hair into the protocol bun. The best you could do was ruffle and smooth your natural hair, leaving it down. If Kylo didn’t like it, he could wait an extra few moments while you did it.

You turned to leave, and not a moment too soon, as you could hear heavy footsteps coming down the hallway. As you approached the door, it opened and you found Kylo waiting just outside.

“Antsy much?”

“I gave you an extra minute. Be grateful.”

Under your breath, you muttered “Jerk.” The professional relationship you were developing with Kylo was seriously bordering on childish.

As you both exited the ship, you made a note of your surrounding. Lush green grasses and large tropical looking trees. Not to mention warmth. Kylo Ren was more than likely going to sweat to death out here in that cape.

“Where are we, sir?”

“Don’t concern yourself with it. Follow me silently.”

“Well I have to make a note of it if you want accurate reports.” Why did he even bring you if he was just going to tell you to shut up?

“Mimban. In the Circarpous system.”

“Okay.” You input the information into your data pad. “And what is it exactly you’d like me to do or look for here?”

“I thought I made it clear, I’d like you to keep your mouth shut and follow me.”

Huffing, you gritted your teeth and resigned to your duties. Walking through the forests wasn’t exactly simple in the heels, and Kylo gave you no mercy with his pace. Your only company besides your moody counterpart was the smell of musty dirt, wet greenery, and the occasional sound of sloshing beneath your feet. A cacophony of local birds and bugs could also be heard, but eventually they could be tuned out as background noise.

For a long while, you simply walked in silence, making an active effort to keep pace with Ren. After an hour, you came upon a small, quiet village. Ren stopped just short of it, running through information in his data pad that he had pulled from the depths of his cloak somewhere.

“Why did you land so far away? We walked for an hour.” At this point, you were irritated, hungry, and sore. You could swear he did things just to spite you.

“Don’t blame me for your poor choice in footwear and attire.” He didn’t raise his head to acknowledge you, only kept skimming through the database.

“This is standard issue for my station! We don’t exactly get hiking gear in case your boss decides to haul you off to some remote forest planet!”

He said nothing, only rousing your anger further. For several minutes you sat in tense silence, until he finally turned to you, shoving his datapad into your arms.

“As for why we landed so far away,” Ren reached into his robes, pulling his saber from its holster. “We couldn’t very well have them know we were coming, could we, stupid girl?”

With a flick of his thumb, his saber ignited. Crimson plasma shot forth from the hilt, and a powerful mix of fear and dread mixed with a drop of excitement shot through you. It was more terrifying up close.

“C-commander Ren, are we _attacking_ someone?” Anxiety flooded you and your breath became harder to draw. “Kylo, I don’t have a blaster and I certainly don’t have a light saber. I literally only have a shoe I could throw! Please! I’m not qualified for this!

The static filtered through his helmet again as it failed to pick up whatever it was he was doing under his helmet as he moved toward you. You recoiled slightly from the heat emitting from his weapon. “Do you doubt my ability to protect you?”

“It-It’s not that, but if they fight back...”

He took his free hand and placed it gently underneath your jaw. You winced, waiting for the pain, but it never came. Instead he ran his thumb softly across the flesh of your cheek.

“Then quiet yourself, and stick close by me, foolish little thing.”

With that, he turned and began stalking toward the village. Swallowing the fear and confusion you felt, you quickly jogged after him, holding your datapad close like a teddy bear.

He paused briefly in the middle of the village, seemingly listening for something. His head whipped toward one particular hut, and like some sort of creature from a fairy tale, he descended on it. His boot made contact with the door and it clattered to the ground as he forced his way in. From inside, you could hear the sounds of scuffling and obvious distress. Taking every ounce of nerve you had, you slowly peeked inside.

Kylo had a white haired man held in his fist by the collar, and was slowly moving his saber closer to the mans neck. Ren had said nothing yet, but the elderly man was yelling and crying in a language you couldn’t understand, clawing to get away from his grasp.

Black clouded your vision, and you were paralyzed with fear. Was Kylo going to kill this man? Right here? Why?

“You know what I’m here for. I know you can understand me. You will give it to me.”

Tears were streaming down the mans wrinkled face as he yelped and fought against the knight. It was futile, as he only dug his gloved hand harder into the mans shirt.

“I will not ask again. I will not hesitate to annihilate this entire village to find it. Spare yourself the grief and give me what I want.” Ren moved the saber close enough to the mans neck to singe, causing him to cry out in pain. “I know you have it. Your family will be first. I know where they are.”

Defenseless, he struggled against Ren, pleading him for mercy. A lump lodged itself in your throat, daring you to cry. You wanted to attack Ren, to force him off the old man, but you were paralyzed in place.

“I-I don’t have it! I swear! Please! My family!” The man sniveled, his voice heavy with accent and distress.

“Then you will tell me where it is and who has it!” Kylo slammed the man into the wall, causing several small items to fall off nearby shelves and shatter on the floor. Bile crawled up your throat.

“This man! Ages ago! He came for it! He has it now! He said something about Jakku! He was called Lor San Tekka! Please I don’t know anything more than that! I’m just a village elder! Please, my family and my people mean no harm!”

Like a sack, Kylo dropped the man to the floor, allowing him to fall limply in a ball. He seemed to contemplate for a moment before holding his saber to the man once again, who scrambled to get away.

“You will tell your people that any illegal activity will not be tolerated. If a resistance member so much as steps foot on this planet, you will bring this information to the First Order. If they follow the law, your presence here will be tolerated. For now.” With another flick of his thumb, his saber retracted into the hilt. The man violently nodded his head in agreement. Kylo turned from him and began to walk towards you, but stopped and looked back one last time.

“Oh, where are my manners? _Val’tarrean may senai.”_

With that, he stepped past you out of the hut, leaving you staring at the broken man on the floor who was vying for air. You wanted to say something, to comfort him somehow.

“Come, girl.”

You heard Kylo beckon you, and you yanked yourself away from the hut. Eyes glued to the ground, you trudged after Ren, who said nothing and only continued to maneuver through the forest back toward the ship.

The entire walk back, you couldn’t help but think of the elderly man and how horrible you felt for him. Was this truly the First Order? I mean, some of their methods had been questionable, but Kylo Ren was like a rabid dog with no leash.

Your mind was in a haze the entire trek back. You barely noticed when you arrived, awakening from your spell only when you heard the ramp to the ship lower. After you entered, you sat down on the lounge and simply stared at the paneling on the walls in front of you. You heard the ramp retract as the entryway closed itself off while Kylo was messing with something in the cockpit. You paid him no mind. Your thoughts kept wandering back to that village elder he assaulted.

“You are displeased with my actions?” He hadn't posed it as a question, but a statement.

“I wasn’t... prepared for that.” As much as you wanted to scream at him, you figured you were probably approaching your 'be rude to Kylo' threshold.

“What did you believe would be happening when you were placed under me?” He turned his chair toward you.

“Why did you bring me? I wasn’t even needed.”

“You were brought because I demanded it.” He said pointedly.

“You led me through a swampy hellhole for over an hour just to watch you assault an old man! That is not what is signed on for nor is it a part of my duties!” You slammed your fist down on the leather lounge.

Kylo stood, slowly stalking towards you. “You were brought in the event that he decided not to give the information. You would have sent an order back to the base to send a fleet to destroy the village.”

“So you would have done it then? You would put an innocent village's blood on my hands because something didn’t go your way?” You snarled.

He didn’t respond, only cocked his head at you. Anger was flaring in your body and you could feel the words spew out before you could stop them.

“You’re not some heartless android, I don’t know why you insist on acting like it!”

“And what leads you to believe that I’m not heartless? That I’m not a monster?”

“You gave me the bedroom because I was afraid! Your bedroom! All because I was uncomfortable! People who are heartless don’t do that! You might be a prick but you’re not a monster!” Nails digging into palms again. You were going to start to get scarring.

“It was not a kindness. I gave you the bedroom because your presence was beginning to annoy me. More than that, someone needs to pilot this ship, and you clearly aren’t capable.” His voice was a low growl, and alarms of the danger started ringing in your head. You decided to ignore it.

“Oh yeah? What about autopilot? I know these things have an autopilot!” You gestured in the general direction of the cockpit.

“You know nothing, insolent girl.” He advanced on you, and you stood to meet him.

“You can’t intimidate me, Commander.”

As those words slipped from your mouth, you immediately regretted them. He was on you like a shadow, his large hand on the soft skin beneath your throat as he shoved you into the wall, his large form pushing against yours.

“Oh, can’t I?” His hand slowly moved to your throat while his other hand rested beside your head against the wall. His chest was firmly pressed against yours, with one of his big boots nudged between your shoes. You could feel the warmth of his body as he pressed against you, and an unwelcome wave of arousal crept down between your thighs.

You tried to shake off the feeling, keeping your facial expression as hostile as possible. “No, you can’t. You’re my boss and my Commander, but there’s some lines even you won’t cross.” It was a gamble, and a dangerous one. At the very least, you were hoping he didn’t want to bother with the paperwork that would follow your death.

“Is that so?” The gloved hand on your throat slowly slithered down to just above your cleavage while the other found a stand of your hair, weaving it between his fingers. “You should know that I am not above crossing those lines.”

“What are you going to do? Kill me? Do it. The paperwork would be on your ass.” You sneered.

The noise broadcasted from his vocader again as the hand above your chest slowly fell to your waist and squeezed while his boot nudged your legs open, pressing his thigh to your pelvis, creating a friction between your legs. The pink haze of lust started to flood your mind as you stared up at his empty mask.

_Stop stop stop what you’re doing what the fuck are you thinking? This is so beyond unprofessional, you’re lusting for Kylo Ren. Kylo fucking Ren. Immediately after he just assaulted an elder! What the hell is wrong with you?_

“I could, I suppose. I could kill you here and now.” He trailed his hand back up to your face, wrapping it around your face while gently pressing his thumb on the pad of your lower lip. “But I don’t want your death, little girl. I want your submission.” Slowly, he pushed his thumb into your mouth, pushing softly against your tongue.

Electric shocks of desire ravaged your body and for a moment, you forgot who you were, and even more, who he was. You pushed against his leg, almost begging for contact with it. You ran your tongue along the length of his thumb, softly sucking and taking it further into your mouth.

You could feel his breath hitch in his chest against you, and the hand in your hair began to tug. Steadily, you wrapped around the length of his thumb, running your tongue along the seam of the leather. You continued this for a moment before you used your tongue again to push his thumb out, giving it one last lick.

“A heartless monster would have killed me already.” You flicked your eyes up at him with a breathy whisper.

He inhaled sharply, pulling away for a moment before gathering your wrists in his hands in one swift motion and slamming them harshly above your head. You winced again, knowing you should be afraid, but instead all you felt was blind want.

“You’ll regret playing this game with me, girl.”

You could swear that the fabric of his trousers was bulkier than it previously had been. You suppressed a laugh.

“Are you sure, Commander Ren?” You purred. “It seems like you’re the one who regrets it. So do it then. Kill me.”

Even beneath his mask, you could feel his eyes burning into you. You didn’t know what was hidden beneath his helmet and those robes, but you knew for damn sure it was human. As suddenly as he had been on you, he pushed away, turning angrily from you. A sick smile curved on your lips as you stood silently, waiting.

“Return to the room. You will be retrieved when needed again.” He moved to the pilot seat, sitting down angrily in the chair.

Reality crashed down like a brick. What in the hell had possessed you? You had just sucked on Commander Rens thumb like a Binky and the pure, unadulterated lust was swimming through your nether region like an overblown pool. Lust for Kylo Ren. Your boss. The Jedi killer. And you wanted him. Bad. You didn't even know what he was or how he looked, but it didn't matter. Your body was screaming for him.

_Maker._

You shook your head, ignoring the plea for touch between your thighs. You took a few moments to gather yourself and your composure.

“I-I’ll be in the room compiling reports.” You skittered back into room, pushing yourself into the wall as the door closed with a puff of air.

_What the fuck just happened?_

Kylo Ren had shoved his thumb in your mouth, and more, you had sucked on it without even thinking like some sort of slutty natural instinct.

_What the hell is wrong with you?_

Taking a deep breath, you collapsed on the bed. The ache between your legs didn’t subside. How the fuck were you going to explain this? Would he bring it up? To be fair, he had started it. He had pushed up against you and plopped his thumb inside your mouth. He had practically felt you up and you were ninety percent sure he had pushed his at least half hard cock against you. In another life, you'd be disgusted with yourself, but you had to admit, something about Kylo drew you. As much as he was an asshole, as much as he was assaulting dickweed, and as nasty as his temper was, you felt an emotion that was a hell of a lot more powerful than disgust when he had pushed his body against yours.

Instead of coping and thinking like a rational human, you pulled out your datapad and began typing furiously. There was nothing to be done, but by the maker you would find something. If only to take the fact that you weren’t entirely against Kylo Ren coming back in without knocking off your mind.

 


	6. This Charming Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when you think things couldn't get any more confusing, certain parts of Kylo Ren find themselves inside certain parts of you. Talk about unprofessional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is, you nasties. Or the beginnings of it anyways. Look, I'll be forthright here, writing smut isn't exactly my forte, so I can't speak as to how good it's gunna be.

You had not been retrieved when needed.

You had not, in fact, been retrieved at all.

Your rude awakening was nearly being lurched out of your sitting position on the bed by the ship finally coming to a halt. Not that you minded. You weren't looking forward to your next meeting with Kylo Ren. He might finally make good on killing you. Or worse.

Luckily, when you shyly poked your head out of the room, Kylo Ren was no where to be seen. He had already clomped his way off to wherever it was he was going to wreak havoc. Praising the Maker, you snatched your bag which had already been packed for hours and ran straight to your quarters. It was just past 2300, which meant you had a while before you had to acknowledge anything work related.

The more the hours passed after 'the incident', the more surreal the whole thing began to feel. It felt more like some sort of artificial heat induced fever dream. As you sat in the shower, you could still feel ghosts of where his hands had touched you, could still hear the husky tone of his voice when he had pushed against you. For a moment, you had been so sure he wanted you, and Maker knows you wanted him too.

But who the hell were you trying to fool?

Half of the base was absolutely certain that he was a robot or some sort of android built by the supreme leader himself. The other half was certain that there was just pure dark force energy manifesting under the robes and that's why he never took the mask off. Were you really naive enough to believe that _you_ had somehow stroked lust into _that?_

No, don't be a fool. Kylo Ren was a manipulative jerk. He had honed in on your weakness. Your loneliness. Your lack of human contact. You were right, he wasn't some emotionless android, he was all man, and maybe he hadn't expected you to react lustfully in turn, but it certainly wasn't genuine.

As for his 'bodily reaction', most men could look at tomato soup at get hard. It wasn't anything special about you. Thinking back, the entire thing made you sick. He had baited you, and you, like some idiot little field mouse, had taken the bait. You practically threw yourself at him, and in the end, disgusted him.

To top it all off, that heated need between your legs hadn't died, leaving a permanent reminder of the humiliation. Crawling into bed, as much as you loathed this room, the stale air, and the leaky sink, was the best thing you had done all week. Sleep, surprisingly, came easily.

The next morning did not come so easily. For the first time in a long while, you had to forcibly drag yourself from the bed at the absolute last minute, quickly shoving yourself into your uniform and scurrying out the door with no time for breakfast.

You opted to walk to your office instead of taking the elevator just to buy yourself a few anxiety free minutes. When you arrived at Command Center B, it was surprisingly empty, and a strange churning in your gut warned you of danger. However, you didn't have time to dawdle or else you'd be late, and judging by the lack of urgent messages on your datapad, you haven't been released from Kylo's grasp yet.

The closer you drew to your station, the more palpable the anger in the air grew. Something was off. Punching in the code and scanning your card, you braced yourself for whatever it was you would face on the other side.

You were greeted by the sound of... Yelling? Two men appeared to be arguing in Commander Ren's office with the door open. You could hear Kylo Ren’s mechanical voice speaking indistinctly, and another man pacing back and forth in the room.

"None of my concern, Ren? None of my concern? My agents have been brokering a negotiation for months, and in one damned day, you manage to completely obliterate it!" You recognized Hux's voice echoing back to you. You slowly crept forward on the balls of your feet, half tempted to duck into your office and avoid the whole thing, but you had to be certain Ren wouldn't convey any 'unnecessary' information to your future boss.

"I was under the impression they were quite malleable when I took my leave. You should find them much more... Reasonable, now." Commander Ren seemed unbothered by Hux's fit, even bored.

"Oh yes, they're much more apt to negotiate now Ren, after your vulgar little display of power. They're absolutely terrified. Is it so inconceivable to your tiny mind that you have just created an entire planet of Rebel sympathizers after you _assaulted their elder?!"_

Hux's voice reached decibels you didn't even know were possible. You knew he hated Commander Ren, but this was something else to witness.

"The answer has become apparent then. Annihilate them and simply take what you need. You are wasting valuable time with your pathetic attempts at diplomacy." Ren continued to brush him off.

"We cannot restore order to the Galaxy if there is no Galaxy!" A slam. Hux had hit something. Hard. "What the supreme leader sees in you, I do not, _cannot_ understand, but you will not sabotage _my_ efforts! You ruin _my_ negotiations, assault my planets, you take _my_ employee-"

"So that's what this is about? The girl?" Nice. Ren had called you 'the girl.' That's what you were to him. The girl.

Hux scrambled for words for a moment before finally speaking. "That is beside the point, Ren. The point is-"

"She very much is the point, isn't she? You want her as _your_ employee. You want her working directly _under_ you, don't you?" There was a strange draw in the way Ren had said 'under', and it suddenly dawned on you what he was implying.

"I will not stand here idly while you hurl inflammatory accusations to detract from your own short comings!" You could hear Hux turn on his heel, storming out of the office. Realizing he was going to have to run into you to do so, you did your best to make it look like you had just arrived.

You punched in your code and pretended to search for your key card as you could see him approaching out of the corner of your eye. His face was flushed a deep crimson, but he did his best to clear his expression before addressing you.

"Ah, good morning, I had actually come here with the intention of seeking you out. I hope you weren't privy to too much of our quarrel. My apologies. Commander Ren is a difficult man." Hux was off his game. His lip was twitching even beneath his polite demeanor and the blush on his face wasn't subsiding. Behind him, you could see the mountain of black stalk out of his office, slowly turning his helmet toward the both of you. Involuntary shutter.

"Oh, absolutely not, General. I only just arrived. Would you like to speak privately?" You flicked your eyes over to Ren, who leaned his head in response. "In my office?"

"Yes, that would be preferable." He wasn't looking at Ren, but you had no doubt he could feel him staring as a particularly nasty scowl spread on his features. Nodding, you swiped your key card, ushering him into the office, giving one last glance at Ren, who had taken to leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. The door hissed shut behind you.

"Don't worry about any eavesdropping. These offices have been soundproofed." Hux knocked heartily on the wall, and you noticed his knuckles were bloody underneath his sleeve. You did your best not to draw attention, and instead, move the conversation along.

"How can I be of service, General?" You gave him your best smile.

"Actually, it is what I wanted to do. I wanted to apologize." He swallowed, and began pacing around the room with his hands behind his back. "It was due to my error that those coordinates were sent to you, and therefore put you into a compromising position."

You could feel the tingling sensation rising in your face from his poor phrasing. 

_Oh Maker, compromising position. Does he know?_

He ran a hand over his mouth, kneading his fingers into his face, not seeming to notice your tell. "I want you to know, you are blameless. It was my error, and mine entirely. I am at fault for what Commander Ren put you through." Another lip twitch. "It was unacceptable! I know he took you off planet, and with your space phobia-"

"Space phobia? But... How did you know that?” You narrowed your eyes on him. Your fears weren’t common knowledge, so thoughts on how he could have come to know them were unsettling.

The flush returned full force to his pale face and he looked like a toddler who had gotten caught stealing cookies. "I... Admit, when I take on new employees, especially ones that show promise, I take it upon myself to read through their files. Strictly need to know, I assure you. It’s simply to make sure there’s no conflict of interests or anything that could be a potential hindrance.”

You nodded, still slightly unnerved. You were pretty sure that your personal hopes, dreams and fears didn’t have anything to do with either one of those things.

“I just wanted to apologize. In person. It must have been terrible for you, being trapped on that ship with both Commander Ren and your phobia.” His voice softened and steely eyes wandered over your face, searching for a crack in the facade. You were determined not to give him one.

“Sir, as my station demands, I am ready and willing to take on all challenges presented to me. It was a ‘journey’, no doubt, but I am still here, ready and able to work.”

The ghost of a smile played on his lips as he shook his head. “Of course. I never once doubted. I assure you, any mistakes on my end will be curtailed immediately.” He turned to leave, pausing briefly. “Please do know I am working on getting you out of this mess. I cannot stand Commander Ren for more than a few minutes. It’s a special type of hell being forced to work around him every day.”

With that, he left, leaving you with mixed feelings about the situation, and more so what Ren had said. Did Hux really think of you _that_ way? You sat down at your desk, trying to get ready to focus on work but your head was swimming. Too much going on in too short of a time span.

You heard your door hiss in the beginnings of closing itself, but it seemed to collide with something that wasn’t the frame. Your eyes shot up, and you saw the boot of Kylo Ren shoved between it and the latch. You sighed and rolled your eyes behind closed lids. You didn’t have the patience for this right now.

“What can I do for you, sir? I was just getting started.”

“I can see that. In fact, I can see a lot of things now.” He nudged the door back open despite the protesting screech and sauntered into your office, stopping just short of your desk.

“Like what, Commander Ren?” You put your forehead in your hands, using your other hand to knead the skin on your temple as he leaned forward on your desk. You just wanted him to leave.

“Your promotion despite your obvious insubordination makes sense now. Don’t act naive, I know you heard us.”

“What do you want, Ren?” You were tired of people implying you had somehow sweet talked your way into anything, and your head was starting to strain from all the whiplash with your relationship or whatever you wanted to call it with Commander Ren.

“I told you, stupid girl.” He reached his hand up, taking your cheek in his abnormally large hand. “I want your submission.”

Grabbing his wrist, you shoved him off you. “You know, I am getting real sick of you thinking you can touch me.”

“Is that so?” He simply scooter closer.

“You want my submission? You already have it. I do everything you ask.” You stood, throwing your hands next to his on the desk, narrowing your eyes on his mask. “I went into space for you. I went into outer territory for you. What more do you want from me?”

“So many things.” You could feel whatever eyes were behind the mask raking over you, and again, that involuntary shudder was back. “Competence. Obedience. Honesty.”

“Honesty?” You arched your brow at him.

“You pretend you’re this meek little girl but you’re not, are you? Adorable, you even have Hux fooled. You have a filthy little mouth, and a filthy little mind under that composed mask of yours.”

A furious blush mixed with a rouse of anger. “What the hell are you even talking about, man? Yeah, I tend to lose my composure when I’m constantly being berated and harassed by my faceless boss!”

He continued despite your outburst. “You pretend you submit to me, but you’re no more submitted than if it was you who had the blade at my throat. Clever little girl.” There was something sinister in his tone, something warning you to run away. Fast. You swallowed hard, but kept it together. You wouldn’t show any weakness here.

“You bow your head, grit your teeth and curtsy and the right moment, but you’re no more tame than I am.” He advanced on you, moving around your desk, languidly stepping towards you. You moved backwards, pressing yourself into the wall. Fear, more anger, and that damned arousal were brewing in the depths of your stomach, and all you knew was you had to get away. This wouldn’t end well for anyone.

“Seriously, back the hell away from me.” You held your arm out to keep him at bay, but he snatched your hand instead, pulling you into his chest before pinning it above your head. You fought him with your remaining arm, but it was like punching a brick wall with a foam bat. You were going no where.

“I can feel it. Your hate. Your rage. Your _lust._ All for me. Whether you like it or not, I own you, little girl.”

Shame and embarrassment followed by more desire flooding your head. You yanked your head away, determined to get out. “G-Get the fuck off me, dude!”

He slammed his free hand down by your head, demanding your attention. Whimpering, you stared back up at him.

“You can hide nothing from me! Your every waking thought is of me. Dodging me, cursing me, every creative little insult your mind can conjure. But there’s something mixed in all that fury, isn’t there? I could feel it in the ship and I can feel it now.” He stroked your face. “Don’t be afraid. I feel it too.”

Panic was ringing off alarms in your head and you struggled harder against him, twisting and turning your body in his grasp. He responded only by grabbing your other arm and squishing it above your head as well, pushing himself harder against you.

“Run from it all you like. Run from _me_ all you like.” He craned his head and nuzzled his mask in your neck, shooting goosebumps down your spine. “But we both know you don’t want to. You want me as much as you loathe me, little girl. And I want to possess you as much as I want to destroy you.”

You had to physically force down the wave of desire that threatened to pull you into the relentless sea of lust. He was right. And you hated him for it.

“What are you even talking about?” You managed to squeak out.

“Don’t lie to me. I can feel you better than you can feel yourself.” Against your neck, the vibration from his helmet jolted against your skin, and in the proximity, you could even hear the shallowness of his breathing. “I’ll show you, and then you’ll understand. I’ll break you, and you’ll beg me for more.”

Doing your best to pretend he wasn’t one hundred percent correct in every last word he said, you mustered every last ounce of courage you had. “You touch me, and I’ll scream.”

“Oh, I know you will.”

Keeping your wrists gathered in one hand, he allowed the other to slither downward and rest on your chest, kneading slightly at the fabric. His leg wandered to the apex between your legs and he thrust his hips gently, brushing against your sensitivity. Your body let out a traitorous moan, and you bit your lip in damage control. The staticky noise emitted from his helmet and you knew he was reveling in his victory.

“See, foolish girl? You want me. Submit.” His gloved hand enclosed around your breast, rolling your nipple between his fingers before allowing his hand to fall gently to the bottom of your skirt, drawing his fingers around the cloth. Still caught in his grasp, you rubbed your legs together, doing anything to try and release the tension building by the lack of contact between your thighs.

“Don’t worry, eager little thing. I’m getting there. If you...” He lightly drew a finger up underneath the skirt, playfully rubbing his finger against your thigh. “Ask me nicely.”

Every bone in your body was demanding that you ask, fall to your knees if you had to. Anything to subside this overwhelming need, but your mind had other ideas

_Don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking dare. Don’t you even think about it._

His hand found its way underneath your skirt as well, and his fingers slithered around your leg, slowly working their way upward until they found the top of your stocking. He fingered at the clasp for a moment.

“A garter belt?” He groaned, and you could tell he was getting worked up. “If I recall, that’s not exactly standard regulation, is it?” His hand grabbed the back of your knee, pulling your leg around his body. Your breath hitched against him, and your lips parted. “What would Hux say if he were to find out that his prized assistant...” He thrust his hips forward with more power this time, and you could feel his length hardening against your center. “Was such a needy little whore?”

You just couldn’t help yourself. “Is it me who’s a needy whore, Commander Ren? Or is it you?” You rolled your hips against his, pushing his manhood into your warmth while coiling your leg tighter against him to pull him closer. His grip tightened on your wrists and you were more than confident that he was fully hard now. “Because last I checked, it’s you who is pawing all over me, practically forcing your cock between my legs.”

“Such a dirty mouth.” He brought his hand back from your leg, bringing it instead to your mouth. You parted your lips again, allowing his fingers access. Gently, he pushed two digits inside, and you accepted them, running your tongue over the leather once more. From inside his mask, you could hear him moan. “Maybe I can find a better use for it.”

He let your wrists go, hooking his fingers inside your mouth and lightly yet firmly dragged you down onto your knees. Knowing what was coming, you ran your tongue along your lips, staring him directly in the visor. His hands flew to the inside of his robes where he swiftly moved them out of the way, fumbling with the latches and buttons of his pants. Obediently, you sat with your hands on the floor, waiting.

His gloved hands untucked themselves from his pants, his cock following. It was large, almost intimidatingly so, with a large vein running up the base and the head frustrated and pink and leaking precum. As much as you hated yourself, you salivated just looking at it. It looked smooth, almost velvety, begging your attention.

“Go on then, little whore. Put that mouth to use.” Kylo looked down at you, doing his best to hide his anticipation. You obliged him.

You shifted your legs apart while on your knees, lifting your skirt as inconspicuously as you could to give him a good view of your stockings and garter belt. Positioning your hands, you ran them along the length of his muscular legs, raking your nails down his pants. You could feel him shiver. If he wanted to play this game, so be it.

You licked close to the base of his cock, avoiding any of the sensitive skin. His hand threaded itself through your hair, tugging lightly, almost daring you to tease him further. Running your hands up underneath his armor, you scraped your fingernails angrily down his chest, feeling the divots of his abs as you did. You could feel his muscles flex and the small hairs stand up. His skin was tight and youthful. You made a mental note.

More importantly, he liked it. He wanted it. He wanted you.

Softly, you licked the precum from his slit, running your tongue softly across the head, sucking gently. Your hands moved down to the base of his shaft, running along to stimulate him before grasping firmly, moving your hand back and forth over the soft skin. His own hand pulled harder at you craving the warm wetness of your mouth, coaxing you forward.

You acquiesced, taking him slightly deeper into you, running your tongue along his length as you sucked and swallowed. The hand entwined in your hair pushed you forward, edging you to take more of himself inside you, but you resisted, pushing back to continue teasing him.

Instead of continuing to edge you forward, he balled his hand, yanking you backward off of him as a strand of split linked his cock to your lips. Forcing your head back to look upward to him, he spoke in between ragged breaths.

“Don’t play coy with me, little slut.” Oddly, his words were gentle. “I know you can take me all the way.”

Hypnotized, you nodded, placing himself into your mouth again. You wrapped your lips tightly around him, moving further and further downward until your face was burrowed in the black patch of hair nestled on his pelvis. You made another mental note. It took active effort not to pull back, instead allowing him to restrict your airway and continuously suppressing gags.

“Good girl. Now, stay still and let the Commander fuck your mouth.”

You nodded, but it wasn’t a question.

Slowly at first, but then harsher and faster, he thrust his hips forward, fucking your mouth in brutal pace. Your lips struggled to contain his length. Gagging and coughing, breath was a struggle now with his entire manhood lodged in your throat. Trying to swallow the excess spit that gathered in your mouth was a lost cause. Tears leaked out of the corners of your eyes in effort to take him and drool had begun to fall from your lips onto the floor as it gathered too fast for you to swallow it. His hand tugged and pulled at your hair, forcing you to look up at him.

“Th-this is how I like you. Quiet and o-obedient and taking my cock, like a good little whore.” He was relentless, and he didn’t stop fucking your throat the entire time. It shouldn’t have, but his words made the arousal even more fierce. Even with his cock deep inside, you whined, wordlessly begging him for release.

“Does my little s-slut want to cum?” His words were breathy and slow and in turn, he relaxed his furious pace.

“Mmhmmm.” You did your best to nod, but his grasp on your head kept you steady.

“Make your Commander cum, and I might have mercy.”

You bobbed and swiveled your head on his cock, swirling your tongue around every ounce of skin. Holding your breath, you did your best to take him into the farthest breadth of your throat. You could feel him shudder against you as he took both his hands and forced your head forward. Loosening your throat and suppressing your gag reflex as best as you could, you took him again and allowed him to guide you.

He flexed in your mouth, pushing himself almost viciously inside. You kept your teeth sheathed inside your lips as you sucked and licked on him. His pace picked up, fucking your face in a ruthless rhythm again. Spit was dripping from your face, coating your chin and cheeks and you allowed him to ravage your mouth. Even as you felt him pushing you toward the depths of your limit, his hands shoved you forward, forcing his cock deeper inside your cavity.

His breath was coming quicker now, and he was cursing underneath his helmet. He was getting close now and you could feel himself straining with self control. “You will s-swallow every last drop.”

You blinked in admission, and a few thrusts later, you felt him pulse in your throat. He retracted slightly, leaving the head inside you but not so deeply you couldn’t breathe, shooting the hot, sticky mess down your throat. As it hit the back, you couldn’t help but gag again, swallowing as much as you could, but some leaked out the corners of your mouth regardless.

His hand forced your head forward one last time, and you understood he was coaxing you to clean him, and so you did. Licking and swallowing whatever remnants of cum was left in or on him. Shortly afterwards, he pulled himself from your mouth, tucking himself back into his pants. You simply stared up at him with pleading eyes, silently begging him for release.

“Such a good girl.” After he positioned his capes in the forefront again, he reached down, stroking your cheek. He then moved his fingers to gather his excess seed from your chin, slowly pushing it into your mouth. You sucked the leather, taking the last amount that stuck on his fingers. “But I said for you to swallow everything, and you were such a messy eater. Disobedient girls don’t get to cum.”

He pulled his fingers from your mouth and turned, walking to the doorway while leaving you in a heap of mess and frustration. You nearly cried, but you heard his voice one last time.

“I’ll allow you to touch yourself, since I’m a generous master. But you may think only of me when you do it. Those are the rules.”

And with that, he was gone, and you were alone in your office once more.

 

 


	7. Alone Again Or...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the hell have you done? You understand you just hooked up with the fucking COMMANDER of the First Order, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm really sorry it's been so long. Shortly after my last chapter was posted, a family member got very sick, and I started living with them to take care of them. My interests, like my mood, turned darker, and this story is one of the things that got left in the dust because of it. Hopefully I'll update more regularly. I'll do my best. I promise. I have like 6 unfinished drafts in my processor right now.  
> Also sorry the chapter is short, it was written on my phone late at night with writers block, so it's one of my shorter ones.  
> And my writing style is going wonky again, so... if it's bad, my bad. I only proofread it once and didn't rewrite a whole hell of a lot afterwards. I just wanted to get fuckin' SOMETHING up so this isn't seen as abandoned. 
> 
> PS, I promise, your character isn't just like crazy OOC around Kylo Ren. There is something going on, and as I read over my previous work, I realize I didn't hint at it very well, so that's my bad.

Silence. 

Again. 

Permeating, deafening, horrible fucking  _silence_. 7 hours of silence after  _it_ happened. You could even draw cleanup out for 30 minutes but then what? Utter disbelief, dizzying surrealism, and overwhelming self-loathing, that’s what.  

Even after the evidence of your filth and  _his_  has been wiped from your flesh and uniform, the taste of it still lingered in your mouth like a sin on Sunday. The fire between your thighs roared out of control like an inferno, enveloping you almost entirely. Your nerves sang and cried out with shameful, clawing desire, threatening to overturn the ruling monarchy that was your overall sanity.

The facts were laid bare before you. No skirting around it. You had allowed Kylo Ren, as in Commander of the First Order Kylo Ren, as in ‘thrice voted worst man in the galaxy’ Kylo Ren, as in “Hey, are we sure he’s even a human man?” Kylo Ren to make use of your face in a way that was wholly unprofessional, to say the least.

Hands that had readily maimed others had been twisted in your hair. A mouth that had spoken words of murder and rage had whispered terrible, filthy things to you. A man that was the last thing too many to number would ever see had taken you on your knees before him.

And you had let him. Eagerly, even.

The churning self-hate was doing nothing to douse the flames in your belly. Your mind torn between pleading him to return and finish the job, finish  _you_ , and pleading him to stay as far away from you as possible forever more. The darker parts of your brain attempted to bargain with you, tempting you to slip your skirt, run your own hands up your legs where his large ones had neglected you and find your peace alone. Perhaps leaving your office smelling of explicit need and sheer carnality that he was neglecting would draw the predator back to your den, like a lion sniffing out a weakened gazelle. 

No.  _No_.  **Stop**. Enough. Stop.

Nails raked through your skin and hair, your own this time. Breath was short and fleeting. Did it really happen? What the fuck was this insane thing that happened to you when he was near? How could you go from model employee to cage fighter to wanton harlot in the span of literally three minutes in his grip? All without seeing his face? Without knowing who he was? Knowing _who_ he was? What the _fuck_ was he doing to you? Some feverish dream? Falling asleep on the job again? Wishful thinking, but it couldn’t account for the salty taste that hung in your throat or the familiar bruising on your wrists. You needed to leave. Needed to get out of here. How much longer?

Passing the time by reading the same sentence on some inane report over and over again wasn’t ideal, but staring at the wall wasn’t an option. You know, the wall where he pushed against you an-  _NO._ No more thinking about it. No more thinking about how he wrapped his big, gloved fingers around your throat and  **STOP.**

Okay, so far so good. How much longer until you could leave?

Oh. 

Alright, how about now?

7 hours of being trapped in the silence of the room, and the cacophony of never-ending shrieking inside your own mind. Does Starkiller have a psych ward?

The day passed. Eventually. Agonizingly slow. Seeing Ren again today wasn’t a concern, that much you could assure yourself. He didn’t seem the type to meet you after work and say “Thanks for swallowing my cock for breakfast; want to grab dinner?” Nah, he’s more of the ‘wham bam thank you now get out of my sight because you piss me off’ type. Not that it was going to happen ever again. What a relief.

You didn’t remember making it back to your room. Everyone must have left you alone, and for good reason. You were pale, very pale. Odd, since Kylo should have been the one to be pale, seeing as you sucked his fucking soul out wh-Okay, really,  ** _enough_**.

Brushing your teeth was painful, almost drawing blood while trying to get the fucking taste out. No reminders. The shower burned your skin, turning it a fierce shade of red as you scrubbed his DNA off you. No. Reminders. 

No reports tonight. No nothing. Not yet. Just throwing yourself down on your tiny little cot and lamenting your life choices and then trying to clear your head. Think of nothing. Absolutely nothing. Focus on the horrible dripping from the bathroom! That always works!

Right?

 

 

Oh, Holy fuck you had blown the Commander of the First Order while he manhandled you and called you his little whore. 

You slammed your head down as hard as physically possible on the stiff mattress, like it would somehow knock the memory lose. How could you face him again? How could you face Hux again? Kylo adored rubbing anything he could in the general’s face. Something like “Did you know your precious little secretary gives incredible head? Oh, and she likes to be degraded and have her hair pulled, so go with that if you get a chance” would be the absolute diamond on Ren’s ‘I win’ cake. Hux would have you drawn and quartered in front of the entire First Order. You could practically see his face, with the little vein popping out, blue lips nearly ripping in rage at the disorder of it all. He’d probably punch something again. Probably you.

You let out a long, throaty groan into the sheets. It killed your pride to say, but there was absolutely no way that you were going tomorrow. No fucking way. Spending another day like today would be absolute hell. You had taken almost no sick days during your entire employment here. They could do without you for one measly day while you picked up the pieces of your fractured psyche. 

Sighing as you reached over to your nightstand for the datapad, you scanned your mind for a viable excuse. Ren would likely know you were bullshitting regardless, but unless he could prove it, there wouldn’t be any problems. Unless he ran straight to Hux and bragged about the encounter. But even then, wouldn’t he get in trouble or something for fraternization too? Could a Commander get in trouble?

_FWD: A. Hux, C. Ren_

_Subject: Ill_

_Body: I’m sorry, but I’m feeling a little ill lately. I assume it’s space sickness. This is just a preemptive message to give you some warning that it is a possibility that I will not be making it to my office tomorrow. The reports will still be taken care of as usual._

_My Apologies. Regards._

Space sickness. Is that a real thing? Kind of like motion sickness but when your sadistic boss drags you into his shuttle and assaults an old man in front of you and then makes you suck on his thumb? Yeah, that sounds legit. They’ll have a file on it in the med-bay if Hux is so inclined to check. Definitely. 

Almost immediately, your messenger pinged with a notice. A message from Hux. What a punctual man. Doesn’t he have, like, anything else to do? 

_Re: Ill_

_Body: I’m terribly sorry to hear of your ailment. Please rest, and don’t push yourself with anything. I’d hope Commander Ren can suffice a single day without any mishaps when left unsupervised, but perhaps that’s too kind a thought._

_Best wishes for your speedy recovery_

_General A. Hux_

It was sweet, you’d admit. As obnoxious as he could be, he apparently had it in him to be kind. It made you feel slightly better. At least one leader of the First Order didn’t want to choke you out, be it with his fist or his cock. 

Speaking of douchebags, nothing from Commander Ren. It was a small mercy, but it eased the nausea a little. He had no doubt received it, but opted to ignore it. Good. Hopefully he’d ignore your existence forever. If you were really favored by the Maker, maybe he’d send you packing back to Hux and get a new administrative assistant first thing tomorrow. Then one day, when he was all high and mighty second in command to the undisputed ruler of the universe, you could turn to your grandchildren while watching him on the propaganda holotapes and say “Did you guys know I blew him once?”

Marvelous. 

Thinking was doing nothing but souring your already near toxic level of spoiled mood, so you flipped your datapad back on and started on the reports for tomorrow until your finally eyes were heavy enough to sleep. 

Granted, in peace you found no solace. A few nightmares about Kylo Ren here. A few stress dreams about your future there. By the time the light came, you just felt more tired than when you started your slumber. Perhaps because you fell asleep quite literally using your datapad as a pillow? Good thing it’s waterproof. Turns out you’re a drooler when you’re angsty. 

With a huff, you flipped it on. It was still mid report, and had kept all your progress from the previous evening, which was well enough. Still no messages from Ren, which was even better. If he didn’t dispute your “sick day”, then you were off the hook. Best of all, your off days were the upcoming two days after that, so three whole days of no Ren. It was enough to make you positively giddy considering the circumstances. 

The next few hours passed quickly enough. Reports, some filing, messaging some man in another department regarding some repairs to one of Ren’s officer’s ships. Same as ever. Nice, easy, and boring. Almost like it could be completed on autopilot. Finishing work early and being home seemed like a blessing at first. You could do anything without having to bother looking busy. You were completely free. Hell, you could jump around like a fuckin’ maniac if you wanted, no heels required. 

It was great, really. Until you realized you were alone again. With your thoughts. The thoughts you were desperately trying to escape in the first place. 

You didn’t have much in the way of personal belongings. A few books, a few holotapes. At least those could pass some time. You plugged the first holotape that didn’t mention romance anywhere and sat down, doing your best to pay attention. It wasn’t anything thrilling, but it passed a few hours without making you too miserable. Reading came next. A few manuals from your old days, some old self help book, and an old poetry book. Okay, poetry it is.

It was entertaining for a bit. Some of the poems you resonated with, but most just seemed overindulgent and nonsensical, prompting eyebrow raises and a few bitter chuckles from time to time. But after a bit, it was making you feel worse to try to care about what you were reading. 

Tossing the book aside, you plopped your head in your hands. There had to be something to do on this damn base. It’s massive. Picking up the datapad again, you scrolled through a directory. A few restaurants, a cafe or two, even a few bookshops, none of which sounded appealing at the moment. What did normal people do?

Quickly tabbing through the pages, something finally caught your eye. How about a bar? That’s something people did, right? Being around loud, drunken morons didn’t particularly sound enticing at the moment, but it would definitely drown out your own head, and maybe you could make some friends or something.

You threw on some of your civilian clothes, which had begun to smell like dust, and reminded yourself to visit a clothing store at some point. Did you really only ever wear standard issue wear anymore? Kinda sad, now that you think about it. But the outfit still fit well enough and looked decent, so small miracles.

Checking the mirror a few times after sprucing yourself up a bit, you finally decided that you were fit to be seen by the casual public. Anxiety tensed in your stomach, likely social anxiety from lack of contact in so long. You reminded yourself you didn’t have to talk to anyone. You could catch a few drinks, enough to sleep, and then head back. No pressure. Day by day. Tomorrow you could worry about tomorrow.

Checking the coordinates one last time, you tucked your datapad away and headed out, putting your door on ‘Do Not Disturb’ mode. The trek down the halls was slightly harrowing, mainly due to your own nervousness. The threat of running into Hux or Ren was absolutely null, but being around other people? That was an entirely different story. You rarely came to this part of the base, but the more populated the halls became, you realized you must be getting closer to “the social zone.” Your head pulsed and you pulled tighter into yourself, subconsciously trying to take up less room. 

The bar itself was easy to spot. “The Wobbling Wookie.” It wasn’t too packed, apparently outshined by some other place, but it was full enough to not seem like a dive. You headed inside, careful not to make eye contact with anyone as you picked the furthest seat near the bar. It was a moment before the barkeep saw you, but he seemed friendly enough. He passed you a high alcohol content drink to help you settle, and even stayed to make conversation when he realized you were alone. 

You two talked for a while, learning his name was Jawan and he came from a small moon outside Terra II. He originally joined up to help with medical duties, but found he enjoyed the social aspect much more, while whispering he couldn’t stand First Order medical protocol. Slowly, you eased up and found you could laugh and talk with him. A few drinks in and you were genuinely happy you came out. Could you consider Jawan a friend? Tipsy you could, and that was absolutely what she was going to do. 

After a while, a few more people walked in, and he excused himself momentarily to serve their drinks and take their orders. You used the opportunity to slip off to the bathroom, bladder already pressing from the weight of the liquor. You smiled to yourself in the stall, pleased with the evening and even snickering to yourself about your little lie about “space sickness.” The thought of Kylo Ren brought you down momentarily, but you waved it off, telling yourself to shut up about it.

When you exited the lady’s room, your seat was still open, but Jawan was preoccupied, so you silently hopped back up on your stool, taking small sips of your drink. Head buzzing pleasantly, you looked around at your fellow patrons. Groups of people laughed and joked together, a few couples looked to be on dates, and a some people tucked in at the bar.

You were the only one who looked to be alone except one other man, and he seemed intent on being by himself and keeping it that way. You turned your eyes to him, innocently trying to peek without leering, wondering if someone else was as lonely as you were on this base to be here alone.

Thick, glossy raven locks dipped below his shoulders and over his downturned face. He was pallid and sultry looking, clad in all black and staring deep into a large shot he turned in his hands, watching the liquid creep up alternating sides of the glass. Though he was sitting hunched over onto the table, it wasn’t hard to tell he was a tall, well built man, muscles peeking through a long sleeved ebony thermal. His face wasn’t visible, but an educated guess would place him as at least somewhat attractive. You lowered your eyes to the floor before he caught wind of your attentions. 

You pondered for a moment, head swimming in the alcohol. Should you join him? Offer to buy him a drink?

_He already has a drink, you absolute buffoon._

Still, it didn’t seem right. He seemed angry, or sad, or... something. Something negative. Pursuing your lips, you pondered for a moment. There was every chance he wanted to be alone, that’s what his body language read anyway. But by the same token, he had come out to a bar. No one could fault you for trying to be nice, right?

Bringing your eyes back up to him, you wondered what you could say. 

_Hey Mr. Sad Handsome Man, I’m sad too. You want to be sad together, drown our sorrow in liquor, and maybe be friends?_

Immediately, his head snapped up to face you, staring you dead in the eyes. Bright russet eyes met yours, widening on contact. His face was expressing some emotion you couldn’t place, somewhere between surprise and contempt. His plush, pale lips parted slightly, almost as if to say something, stopping just short of words. For a moment, it stayed like this, locked in eye contact with this peculiar stranger.

Almost quickly as he had met your gaze, his aquiline nose crinkled in disgust, lightly spotted face bagging under his cheeks as his eyes narrowed in hostility. His long, masculine fingers twitched on his glass before snatching it up, swallowing it in one gulp, and slamming it back down on the table. He shoved himself out of the booth, snarling as he stormed passed you and out of the bar, long tendrils of hair blowing slightly behind him as his figure clomped down the hall. 

You were frozen for a moment, unable to process what in the hell had just happened. You hadn’t even said anything!

_What a fucking jackass. Apparently this base is just chock full of em._

Turning back towards the bar, you noticed Jawan was back standing by you, watching with you as Moody McAsshole disappeared down the walkway. 

“What the fuck was his problem?” You gestured back down to the empty space in the hall where the guy had stalked off to. 

“Don’t even worry about it, darlin’. He’s always like that. Comes in here a lot, drinks alone, tells anyone who talks to him to shove off, even the cute ones.” He shook his head. “Though I’ve never seen him quite like that though. What’d you say?”

“I didn’t even say anything! I was looking around, caught eyes with him and he just fucked off like that!”

“What a crank.” Sighing, Jawan stepped out and quickly grabbed the glass from the table where the man had been before. “Beauty is always wasted on the beasts.”

“True to that!” You downed your drink, feeling your sour mood return. “Stupid pretty man with his... hair... and his... skin. Hope you can marry a mirror, you big dumb... man.”

Jawan laughed despite himself. “Not much of a drinker, huh?”

“No, not really. I’m not much of an anything anymore.” You shook your head into your glass, feeling the emotions rise back up. 

“Come on now, kiddo. Don’t be like that. I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you one free on the house, but then you should probably head on home. Don’t want to be sick in the morning. If you want, you can come on back tomorrow and you and I can have a real chat.” He gave you an earnest smile. 

Genuinely, your cheeks lifted and you found yourself giving a toothy grin. “I’d really like that. I don’t really have any friends. I don’t want to impose though.”

“Well, you’re at a bar, you’re drinkin’, and I enjoy your company. I’d say it’s a win for both of us.” He refilled your cup one last time, taking care to lessen the alcohol on this one and also slipping you a cup of water. Gratefully, you took it, taking small sips, alternating between the drink and the water. 

Half an hour later, you said your goodbyes and made a graceful way home. Graceful in this case means you didn’t exactly fall in front of anyone and you only held onto the wall for support twice. All in all, not bad considering. By the time you reached your room, you were tired, more than ready to flop down on your bed and sleep, and so you did. 

While you cuddled into your scrawny blanket, your head kept drifting off to your experience at the bar. Jawan, all the people, the broody man who hated you. Maybe you took his promotion or something. You shouldn’t be so shaken by the experience, but the rage had practically radiated off him as he brushed past you. Should someone so unstable really be working here?

No matter, you had made a friend. Or at least something close, and that was enough to call the night a success, and enough to send you to sleep with a small satisfactory smile on your face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hurray, drinking. Hilarious, considering I'm trying to quit.


	8. The Little Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux makes a house call, you make a friend, and Kylo Ren makes a power play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here's two to make up for my lack of shit. 
> 
> Also I got a tumblr for my writing now. It's empty and Star Wars is not the only fandom on it, but if you're into that, head right on over. 
> 
> morgana-ren.tumblr.com

The next morning wasn’t exactly horrible, but it wasn’t easy either. A slight painful pulse in the temples and stomach protesting a little weren’t unbearable, but the endless craving for water was something of a nuisance. Probably would have been ten times worse if Jawan hadn’t cut you off when he did. You reminded yourself to thank him later. 

Pulling yourself from your bed, you reached over to the nightstand and devoured a water bottle you had gotten when you got up to use the restroom in the middle of the night. It was gone in a few moments. You couldn’t recall the last time you were this dehydrated. 

Luckily, the rest of the damage seemed to be minimal. You still had today and tomorrow before you had to think about anything work related, so you allowed yourself to rest, sinking back into the mattress, staring at the ceiling for a while before drifting back off into a gentle sleep. It was dreamless, nothing but occasional thoughts floating through the abyss that was your mind. 

The room was darker when you awoke, so likely the morning had slipped somewhere into midafternoon. Rubbing the sleep from your weary eyes, it took you a moment to process you hadn’t awoken naturally. Someone was waiting on the opposite end of your door, the artificial ‘doorbell’ ringing to gather your attention. 

_Who the fuck..._

You pondered for a brief minute while you pushed your way out of bed, pulling a robe over your exposed form. Walking over, you hovered your hand over the lock pad. Panic and nausea clawed up your throat. Was it Ren? Did he come to confront you for lying yesterday? Did he send a squadron of Storm Troopers to blast your head clean off your shoulders? Pulling your covering closer, you finally unlocked the door, rationalizing that either way, whoever it was wasn’t going to go away. 

The door clicked open, but instead of a blaster to the face, you were greeted by the familiar sight of a black peacoat and copper hair. 

“G-General Hux!” You scrambled to cover yourself even more if possible, shrinking all but your head behind the door. He seemed equally as flustered, eyes blowing wide and crimson bleeding into his sallow cheeks. 

“Miss! I- Well, I... I’m terribly sorry! Am I imposing?”

“Of course not, General! I just- I wasn’t expecting anyone!” You gave a shy smile despite your head moving into DEFCON 1.

“Forgive me, I should I have had the forethought to warn you. I simply- To be blunt, I was concerned.” His steely eyes scanned your face for a moment, his perched brows furrowing. “Maker, you look dreadful.”

The smile dropped from your face, mouth ticking in annoyance. 

_Thanks, boss man. Considering I’ve been faking the sick thing, good to know I’m just dreadful._

Hux seemed to pick up on your displeasure, and for a split second, the look of a boy being scolded by a teacher flashed across his face. He coughed awkwardly, looking away for a moment before speaking again. 

“I meant no offense. Only that it is rare I see my subordinates in this form.”

_You came to my door on an off day, buddy, not vice versa._

“None taken. I understand completely.” The fake grin was a little bit more strained to replace this time. 

He swallowed lightly, bringing his face back up. “I came by yesterday to see how you were fairing, but there was no answer.” 

You were the one to flush this time. He must have dropped by when you were at the bar. Judging by his casual demeanor, he wasn’t aware you were completely lying about ‘space sickness.’ Thank the Maker for hangovers. At least you were dehydrated enough to not look 100 percent.

“Oh! Yes, I’m sorry. I took some sleeping pills and I must’ve already fallen asleep! I was hoping I could sleep it off.” Your hand involuntarily reached up to scratch the back of your head as you smiled sheepishly.

He nodded, twiddling his fingers behind his back. “Completely understandable. How fares your recovery?”

“Well enough. It shouldn’t be a problem come time. I’m a little nauseous and have a small residual headache, but nothing unmanageable.” It technically wasn’t a lie. You were technically not lying to your boss. Again.

“Excellent!” Hux raised his head up, meeting your face once more. He had a peculiar expression, one you figured was the closest he could express to happiness without his skin literally cracking. His arms came forward, and he rubbed his hands together against one another, and you noticed one of them was bandaged. The one he used to punch Ren’s desk. “I brought you this, in case, to help you along.” He reached the other lithe hand into his pocket, pulling out a small roll of something and holding it towards you.

Hesitantly, you reached your hand out, taking the item. Your skin brushed against him lightly, and his hand seemed to twinge with the contact. He was incredibly _cold._ Shockingly cold. How is he _alive_? Shaking the thoughts off, you looked down at the small wrapping in your hand.

“Is this med bay level pain medication?” Gasping, you rolled it around in your fingers. “Don’t you have to have an appointment to get anywhere near this stuff?”

Hux, for once, seemed at a loss for words for a moment. “Yes, I… Well, you see… There was an incident yesterday that actually required my presence on sight, and I told one of the doctors of your situation, and they made an exception.” His voice was a few octaves above where it should have been.

_Liar Liar uniform on fire. These are yours. For your hand._

“I don’t know what to say, sir. That’s so thoughtful of you.” Why in the hell was he giving you these?

“To be quite frank with you, certain aspects of this job get very stressful. Sometimes, mental blocks can become quite physical.” He was looking away from you now, obviously voicing his own inner monologue, but you had to hard swallow the water you drank not long ago back down. Mental blocks becoming _physical_. Yeah, yeah, they _really_ can, can’t they? “It’s not uncommon for some of our best to become… burdened by the load.” OH, Maker. Okay, he wasn’t doing it on purpose but for the love of all things, he needed to _stop talking._ Everything he was saying was, unknown to him, incredibly close to an innuendo.

“I understand the stress. I know what it can do to someone, but I believe in potential and the vision I see for… all of us. I have fought for it and will continue to fight for it, should I have to.” His eyes flickered down to his own hand, as did yours. He noticed your eyes flick downward toward his hands as well and quickly tucked them back behind him once more to hide his shame.

“I think I understand what you mean, sir.” At this point, you just wanted him to leave. It was nice of him to stop by, even if he was being a little odd, but frankly things were getting uncomfortable and everything he was saying was coaxing your dirty conscience.

“Very well.” He pursed his lips, looking like he had something more to say, but stopping himself. “I will leave you to your rest.” He gave a curt nod before turning on his heel and taking off down the hall. Several people stopped to give peculiar looks at the solemn general as well as yourself as you sat frozen in your doorway staring at the pack in your hands. Once you noticed the spectators, you quickly ducked back inside your compartment, face burning.

General Hux making house calls, Commander Ren violating you in your office, had you died a few weeks ago and fallen into some bizarre hell? What the fuck was going on lately?

Sighing, you chucked the medicine onto a nearby empty bookshelf. No real need for it now, and there was no use wasting it on something as simple as a headache. Might as well save it for a real emergency. Exhaling, you sat back down on your bed, head in your hands. Did this type of thing happen often on Star Killer? What this normal and you were just getting your bearings? You wished you had someone to talk to about everything, someone who could give you advice or tell you what to do.

The best you had was a bartender who didn’t seem to mind you being around. You had told him you’d stop by today after all. What time was it acceptable for someone to go to a bar? Probably not at least for a few more hours. What exactly were you supposed to do until then?

There was supposed to be a few nice cafés around the base. Maybe they’d even have something better than the slop that was cafeteria food. Granted, usually grime off the floor could be considered better than anything in the cafeteria. Your stomach was starting to growl and frankly, there was absolutely nothing to do here at all. Might as well check it out right?

After waiting what you designated was the appropriate amount of time for Hux to make it back to the upper tier and begin yelling at his subordinates, you got dressed and quietly slipped out of your rooms, heading towards the closest food nook. The halls were populated since it was the main shift end of work cycle, but you kept your eyes on the floor, trying not to draw attention. Between Hux and Ren, you had enough attention for a lifetime in the last few days.

It wasn’t far, just a short walk and one floor up. Inside seemed calm, just a few patrons seated at tables. The hostess greeted you kindly as you sat down at a table and looked over a small menu, waiting for the waiter to come and take your order. Honestly, it was rather nice here. Calm, serene almost. The atmosphere was nice, even straying away from the familiar chromes and midnight hues that usually colored the base and replacing them with more calming, neutral colors. It was quiet too, far from the noisy hallways and offices of the rest of the base. Why hadn’t you tried coming here sooner?

You ate in peace, allowing yourself to take your time for once, since technically you had no where important to be, which was a rare occurrence these days. The food was a wonderful break from the usual nastiness they crammed down your throat here, although it was more expensive. Worth it, however. Even after you finished, you hung back, relaxing in your chair and scrolling mindlessly through your datapad, looking for nothing in particular, occasionally playing some sort of puzzle or answering messages from work.

The hours passed, and before long, it was dark. The café itself was deserted and looking to close shop for the evening, so you generously tipped the wait staff and made your way out. The bar was a little bit of a ways away, but it didn’t bother you. You felt a lot more at peace than you had in a long time, so the walk there alone was no big deal.

A while later and you finally arrived. You walked in and sat down at the same bar stool you had the previous night, giving Jawan a smile when he noticed you. He put a drink down in front of an elderly looking man and then turned to move to you, giving you a small little wave. You looked around for a moment and felt relieved when you reached the conclusion that the man from yesterday wasn’t here today to give you dirty looks.

“Look who it is! How’re you feeling today? I take it you got home okay last night?” Jawan picked up a glass and started polishing, more to look busy than anything.

“Nothing to report, and not too bad. That water really helped. Only a mild headache this morning.”

“Good! You drinking poison tonight or just looking to keep a low profile?” He gestured behind him at the extensive array of liquors piled in a cabinet.

“I’ll have a drink, but only one or two tonight. I just needed to get out of that room, you know?”

“Oh, believe me, I know. On the days I’m not working here, I’m out somewhere else. I can’t stand being cramped up in those little tin rooms. I hate them.” His lip curled in disgust at the thought and his head shook slightly.

“Yeah, I hated those things. The absolute worst.” You pointed to a bottle on the backwall, and he promptly retrieved it and poured some out for you.

“Hated? As in previous? Do tell! Are you a high ranker?” He passed your drink to you, leaning forward on the bar, obviously intrigued.

“Me? Oh no, nothing like that at all. I’m… Well, I was Hux’s administrative assistant, the one that worked right under him to help him with all the mundane shit he didn’t have time for, but now I’m… Working for someone else…” You trailed off, lip tugging downward.

“Hux? As is _General_ Hux? Maker, girl! Have you actually met him?” Jawan’s eyes lit up in excitement, practically clapping his hands. You remembered that star struck excitement the first time you heard you’d be working under him. Now he was casually dropping off illegal drugs at your room. Weird how things turn out.

“Oh yeah, he spent a lot of time in my office.” Taking a deep swig of your drink, you nodded. “Like a lot. Practically couldn’t get him to go away. Not in a mean way or anything, he’s just very thorough.”

“Oh, my stars! I can’t believe you’ve actually _met_ him!” Jawan leaned in close, whispering. “Between you and I, I think he’s kind of a cute one. A little up tight, but that hair? And the uniform? It just gets me.”

“Yeah, I suppose he is a fairly good-looking man. I guess I never actually really looked at him.” You shrugged.

Jawan’s brow arched. “I thought you said you spent a lot of time together?”

“We did, quite a lot in the past few months.” Finishing your drink, you motioned him for a little more. “He actually came to my room earlier today.”

Jawan practically spilled the bottle, eyebrows shooting through his head. “He what?!”

Realizing what you had said, you threw your hands up and made a deep sweeping motion in either side, vigorously shaking your head. “Woah now! Not anything like that!”

“Oh reaaaally?” He passed you your drink, a smug look on his face. “The general of the First Order came to your room today, an off day, but it wasn’t _like that._ Uh huh.”

Your face flushed a deep shade of crimson. Okay, well now that he put it like that, it did seem a little odd. Still, Hux had been perfectly appropriate. “You can’t tell anyone, but I was technically supposed to be sick yesterday.” You hushed your voice a little, and Jawan’s mouth made an appreciative O shape before winking. “Things have been… hard lately, and he was worried I was burrowed under the stress. He came to make sure I was doing alright.”

He gave you an almost condescending face, tilting his head to the side. “Oh, my dear, because I’m sure he does that for all of his employees.”

“No, but I mean… Come on, the man is probably asexual.”

“Maybe, but I’ve neeeeever ever heard of him coming to anyone else’s room, and I’m a bartender. People tend to talk here.”

“He just relies on me a lot. Or, at least he did.” You gave a surly face and took another deep swig of your drink.

“What do you mean ‘did?’ Did something happen today that changed that?” Jawan sensed the tension growing in you and the little smirk dropped from his face.

“No, nothing like that.” You sighed deeply, taking another gulp. The liquor was hitting you rapidly. “It was a few months ago. I actually only got reassigned here less than a year ago, and I came here to work directly under Hux. Things were stressful, but I was managing at least. Then something…” You rolled your eyes. “Happened.”

“Something not good, I take it.”

“Not at all. I got reassigned, and not for his lack of trying. Hux actually wanted to keep me on his personal staff, but players above him said otherwise.” Huffing, you cradled your head in your arm.

“Who the hell is above General Hux? There’s like one or two, and that’d be-“ He looked at you, eyes widening in surprise. “No kriffing way.”

“Yep. Lucky me!” You threw your arms out dramatically, attracting a few glances from confused patrons. “I work for Commander Ren. Right fucking there with Commander Ren.”

Jawan’s face was a mix of complete disbelief and borderline bewilderment. “You are so lying.”

You shook your head mournfully, finishing your drink again. “I wish.”

“So, he is real…” Jawan’s hand clasped over his mouth as you nodded.

_Oh yeah, buddy. He’s real. He’s real, he’s pissy, and we’ve been very intimate in a way that I’m not sure anyone else in the galaxy has ever thought of with him before._

“So, you’ve met him too? You’re practically a celebrity! What’s he like? Is he really all…” Jawan made a funny gesture with his arms that seemed like it was supposed to mimic a lightsaber swinging around angrily.

“Completely correct. That’s actually fairly accurate.” You were happy someone was finding some amusement in your miserable situation.

“Has he threatened you? Or like hurt you? I’ve heard rumors of his temper.” All the mirth disappeared from his face as he leaned in close, trying to keep the conversation private.

“I guess you could say that.”

“Stars! What about the General? He’s got to be fond enough of you to do something about it if he’s, well, checking up on you!”

You waved it off. “Hux has enough on his mind, and he’s already fighting tooth and nail to get me back under his command exclusively. Besides, it’s only until Kylo leaves again and then I’m free of him.”

“I’ve never heard anyone call him only Kylo before! Do you call him that to his face?”

_Well, that or Ren, jerk, jackass, motherfucker, cocksucker, asshole, fuckwad, asspipe, I mean I’ve got a few._

“Sometimes, when I’m trying to get his attention. We mainly try to stay out of each other’s way. I don’t see him horribly often, but when I do, it’s never pleasant. I just want to go back to the way things were, and I want him to leave and go wherever it is dickheads like him go when they’re not ruining my life.”

Jawan put his hand on yours reassuringly. “Commander Ren is never here long. Only a few months at best. We almost never even know when he’s here except high ranked whisperings. Sometimes I thought he was just some sort of myth they told us to keep us scared.” He bit his tongue. “Is your position secured once he’s gone?”

You nodded again. “Hux already offered me an exclusive position once I’m free from Ren. All Ren needs to do is leave and I’m home free.”

“It’s not easy, but I have no doubt you can do it. Just try not to get killed in the process. I’ve heard the things people say about him.” He shuddered. “It’s unsettling to say the least.”

“You should read the reports.” You scoffed. “The man is a walking catastrophe. He dragged me into space, Jawan! I hate space!” After slamming your head down on the counter, Jawan patted your head reassuringly.

“Would another drink and a change of topic make you feel better?”

You agreed weakly, and he obliged. The topic was promptly changed, and shortly, you were in good spirits again, laughing and joking around with the person who could now be considered your one and only friend. He even agreed to get tipsy with you, if you promised to drink water between drinks. Hours passed, and eventually the bar emptied out, but you didn’t really notice. Sitting at a perfect level was rare for you, and you were damn well going to enjoy it while you could. It was only when the datapad on the wall started ringing and calculating totals that he pulled his attentions from you and over to it.

“Maker, is it that late already?” He whispered, pressing a few buttons. “Bad news, girl. I’ve got to close up before the troopers show up to boot us out. Believe me, you don’t want that.”

“Don’t even worry, tonight has been great. Do you need help with anything?” You chugged the last of your water and booze, ensuring that your buzz would carry on, but hopefully avoiding sickness in the morning.

“Nope, darlin’. It’s actually been an easy night. Just got to pop a few caps on a few bottles and wipe up and I’m good to go. You going to be safe heading out by yourself? You can wait, if you’d like, and I can walk you back to your room.”

“Oh, no, thank you though. I’m good. Can still walk straight and everything.” You hopped off your stool, running the credits for your tab.

“Well, you’re always welcome here. I’m here most nights except one or two, but I’m always here during the off cycle.” He shut down the datapad, wiping it clean before walking back over to your side of the bar. “Try to take care of yourself, hun. And if you’re ever looking for a change in career, I could get you a gig here. Pay isn’t as nice and it certainly wouldn’t have a room with its own shower, but I doubt you’ll see Commander Ren in here.”

“Thanks, Jawan. I really appreciate it. You’re the first actual friend I’ve had in a while.”

He gave you a happy look of acknowledgement as you exited the bar, waving to him behind you. You took a few steps forward before checking your datapad, feeling as if you missed something. No new messages or alerts. Good. So why did something feel off?

You began walking down the hallway a little, feeling slightly uneasy. Was it the impending doom of having to go back to your room? Being alone? Bad liquor reaction? You took a few more steps regardless, ignoring an oncoming headache.

You didn’t get too far before you felt it. Heard it, more specifically.

“Space sickness?”

Dread rang through you, shooting needles throughout your limbs and extremities. The voice. You hadn’t heard it since… Well, since he was whispering filthy nothings in your ear as you wiped his cum from your chin.

Slowly, you turned to face the source. Sure enough, Ren was there, stepping out from behind an alcove. You grit your teeth in annoyance, inebriation probably allowing more of it to slip through your mask than intended.

“Commander Ren. A pleasure to see you, as always.” The words barely passed for a formality with their tone. “I’m afraid the bar is closed, if that’s what you’re after.”

He stared you down for a moment before repeating himself. “Space sickness?” This time it was more of a statement.

“I wasn’t exactly sure what to call it, so I found something.” _Bastard boss syndrome?_

Slowly, he began stepping toward you, heavy footfalls echoing down the desolate hallway. “You are many things, girl. Insolent. Impudent. Insubordinate.” You almost recoiled as he came closer and closer, but the liquor decided you were going to stand your ground. You still gulped heavily when he stopped only a few inches short of you. “But I never took you for a liar.”

“Who said I’m a liar? I really was ill.” You crossed your arms, eyes kept flat on his visor.

“Were you, now?” He reached his hand up to your cheek but you swatted it away. He quickly retracted, clenching his fist with the sound of squelching leather. “You may be able to fool others when you bat your lashes, but not me.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” You snarled, rage slowly welling up.

“I heard General Hux paid a little visit to your rooms this afternoon.” His body language was unforgiving in tells, but one of his fingers kept twitching almost imperceptibly. Why was he baiting you?

“So what if he did?” You called his bluff, kicking your foot out to the side. “Wouldn’t that be my business?”

“I’ve never known the General to be a social man unless he personally gained something from it.” His head cocked to the side, daring you to answer.

“Just what the fuck are you implying, Ren?” You hissed, narrowing your eyes on him. He said nothing, only continued to stare at you, or so you believed.

A loud slam of a door made you jump, and a cheery voice echoed down the hallway. “Hey, you change your mind about havin’ me walk you hoooOOOH my stars!” Jawan dropped his datapad as soon as he turned from locking the bar, seeing Commander Ren and you very blatantly in a heated argument. “C-Commander Ren!”

Achingly slow, Ren turned his head to face the man, saying nothing, only staring daggers into him behind the visor of his helmet. Jawan was visibly shaking, eyes wide and darting between the Commander, to you, and back again, clearly in a moral dilemma. He didn’t want to leave you alone to what could be a very sour fate, but realistically, there was nothing he could do to stop Commander Ren even if he tried.

“I’ll be fine, Jawan. Thank you.” You nodded your head, giving him the okay to leave. He stayed frozen in place for a brief moment, hand reaching out and en retracting again before giving you a distressed look as he retrieved his datapad from the floor and scurried off, glancing back at you worriedly all the while. Commander Ren turned to face you again, and you seethed.

“And another one, I see.” His voice was taunting, purposely drawing you in. It was working.

“I don’t know what your problem is, _Commander_ , but it’s certainly not my problem. Not for another night anyway. Have a pleasant rest of your evening, Commander Ren.” You turned to leave, but felt an invisible wall prevent you from moving, like a python snaking around your legs and constricting.

“I don’t remember giving you permission to leave.”

You could feel him walk up behind you, towering over you. Practically could hear the thoughts running through his mind of how many ways he could crush you, but still, you persisted. “I don’t recall needing your permission.”

He was on you in mere seconds, his hand wrapping around your jaw again, forcing you to meet his gaze. Beneath the leather of his gloves, you could feel his skin practically boiling. A reminder of the man under the mask. “You forget your place beneath me, girl.”

“Only for a few more weeks, so I suggest you enjoy manhandling me as much as you’d like during that time, because after that, you’re never touching me again.” You spat between his fingers.

He said nothing, but his grip tensed, causing you to cry out in pain. After a few moments, he released you and the invisible force keeping you in place vanished, dropping you to your knees in front of him. He stared down at you, and you waited for it all to end and for him to leave.

“Is that so?”

As suddenly as he had released you, he had you in his grip again, his iron fingers digging into your arm, dragging you to your feet and pulling you along after him down the corridor.

“Ow! What the hell are you doing?!” You struggled and clawed against his grip, but it was futile. The man was a brick wall and you were a squeaky toy hammer. “Let go of me! Kylo, let go!”

He ignored you, only continuing to pull you further and further down into unknown territory. Several minutes passed like this, you cursing and flailing against him, and him tugging you along like a scolded child. It was only when he came to some room that he released you, throwing you inside before entering himself.

Lights flickered on, and you realized it was a bathroom. One you hadn’t been in before, which wasn’t exactly uncommon with the sheer size of the base. Still, you had no idea where you were, and worse you were trapped inside with a psychopath. He locked the door, turning to you again before descending on you like a vulture.

You tried to move away from him, but he was quicker, grabbing your neck and slamming you into the nearest wall. Again, you found yourself in this position, and again, that sick, disgusting pressure started to build in your lower abdomen, coiling and clenching. Begging.

“No!” You wheezed under your breath, slamming your eyes shut.

_What the hell, what the hell! Why does this keep happening? What fucked up part of me likes this?_

The static emitted from his vocoder again, and his other hand reached up, tugging lightly on large tendrils of your hair. You tried to fend him off, pushing as far away from him and into the wall as you could, but it wasn’t as heartfelt as you intended it to be. The feeling in your gut settled, fluttering where your legs met.

“Get off of me, Ren!”

“Is that really what you want?” He nuzzled his helmet into the crook of your shoulder, the vibration sending shivers down your spine.

_No_

“Y-yes! We can’t do this again!” It didn’t even convince you. It was sighed breathlessly as his hand slipped lazily downward, kneading your chest over your shirt.

“And who told you that?” The voice came out a gentle lull from the mouthpiece, purring against your neck.

“If anyone were to find out… If Hux were to find out…”

Something about the mention of Hux seemed to enrage him. He shot up from his position, hand clenching tighter around your neck as he yanked you from your spot on the wall. You cried out in surprise as he threw you toward the sinks, catching yourself on your hands against them. He followed shortly behind, pressing up against you and forcing you to bend back down over them with one hand and grabbing a fistful of your hair with the other. He perched over you, large chest pushing against your back as he tightened his grip in your locks, coercing your face upward and toward the mirror.

From the mirror, you could see yourselves. Him, large body enveloping yours, gripping and taking as he pleased. You, subdued before him, cheeks stained red. Vulnerable. Something about seeing it made everything so much worse. The tension between your legs built, pleading and clenching around nothing, refusing to be ignored. You whimpered, shifting uncomfortably.

“What are you doing?” You asked uneasily, voice wimpy and hoarse.

“Showing you your place _beneath me_.” His free arm ran down your back, stopping on your ass and grabbing a large handful before bringing his hand up and smacking down hard. You lurched forward, whining as he brought his hand up and did it again. A few more times and the stinging sensation was becoming intense, and you could feel the moisture pooling in your heat, much to your shame. Beneath his mask, you could have sworn you heard his breath getting heavy.

“Are you going to behave like a good girl?” He whispered, bringing his hand up to smack again.

_I’ll do anything you ask, Commander_

You simply glared at him through the mirror, not daring to give him the satisfaction of knowing exactly what he was doing. He tutted, shaking his head, and brought his hand down hard. You yelped, bracing yourself against the sink. Behind you, you could feel a thick hardness pressed against the cheek that wasn’t currently being assaulted.

“I said are you going to behave like a good girl?” His voice was threateningly quiet this time, and he brought his hand up again, eager and ready to come down.

“Yes, Commander!” You gasped, readying yourself for the next one, but it never came. Instead he gently brought his hand down, caressing your backside.

“See? Is that so hard?” He rubbed you a few times, soothing the burning underneath your clothes. You were just about ready to tell him to go fuck himself when he spoke again. “Good girls get rewards.” His hand slithered forward from your rear to the front, playing lightly at the band of your bottoms, dipping in only a few inches before receding again. You bit your lip, suppressing a mewl. It was almost unbearable now, he was so close and so were you. Every time his hand sunk into your smalls and then retreated, you died a little inside.

“Beg me for it.”

_Pleasepleasejustfuckingplease_

“Go fuck yourself.”

“You’re lucky I like a brat.”

He plunged his hand in a final time, bringing his gloved fingers to the heat between your thighs. He spread your lips with two digits, teasing and rubbing, but completely avoiding the bundle of nerves at your apex. You closed your eyes, mouth open, but he yanked hard on your hair. “You will keep your eyes on me.” You nodded vigorously as he slowly closed the gap between the two fingers, rubbing gently enough to drive you mad.

Gradually, he inserted one thick finger inside you, stretching your neglected hole and eliciting a sharp inhale from you. He began pumping, maddeningly slow at first but increasing in pace, and you found yourself rocking on your heels to meet him as he eventually added a second finger, your breath fogging up the mirror in front of you as he studied you behind his mask. He pushed deeper and deeper, curling his fingers to stroke that spot _just_ right inside you that made you go weak with pleasure, panting like a dog in heat.

You spread your legs apart more, allowing him further access and rubbing your ass against the thickness pressed against your cleft. He groaned in appreciation, rutting against you lightly and massaging himself to the obscene sounds of your wetness against his gloves. If you had any shame left, the sound would have left you sobbing with embarrassment, but shame seemed to be in short supply these days.

“Will you beg me now?” His words were heavy and strained, almost inaudible, but you knew what he meant.

“K-Kylo-Commander,” The words came out as a ragged, breathy plea more than an actual sentence. You were so close, stuck at the peak. One little push and you would go over the edge. “R-r-Ren!”

“Good enough.” He tilted his hand and began massaging your swollen clit with the pad of his thumb while still sliding in and out, successfully turning you into an incomprehensible, babbling mess. Eyes glazed and filmy, barely able to stay open, and mouth practically drooling on the counter. The pleasure was winding tighter and tighter and tighter until you were certain you were going to burst at the seams. Rolling your hips against his hand, putting more and more pressure against your sensitive sex, thighs beginning to twitch and falter. Your breath became faster and faster, your end so close you could feel it.

“Commander, I’m…” You moaned, nails clawing at the sink. “I’m-“

He yanked your head back harshly one last time, drawing your eyes to him as he sped his pace. “You will look at me when you come.”

You did your best to keep your eyes open, but when it hit, they slammed shut again. You screamed his name, throwing your head back against his chest and arching your back into him. Raking your nails down the side of the sink, he rode you out through the rest of your orgasm, your walls clenching and spasming against his fingers. White hot light and spirals of color shot behind your clamped eyes, and for a moment, you swore he’d let you fall to the floor as vertigo set in. The high was almost too much, and you threw your hands back to dig into Ren’s robes as you slowly drifted back down into your body.

Before you became overstimulated, Kylo withdrew his hand and released your hair, opting to stabilize you by holding your arms instead. Your head still rested against his chest, and you could still feel his throbbing member against you. A light sheen of sweat clung to your neck and collar as you caught your breath and slowly opened your eyes, coming face to face with his visor peering down at you.

“Kylo…” You found almost no ability left to formulate sentences.

His head suddenly turned to look at the door, his fingers flexing against your bruised arm. “I’m afraid this time together has come to an end, but I hope for your sake you remember that little lesson.” 

“What?” It took you a moment to register that you were still far from home, in a bathroom, in the middle of the night, with your Commander who you had just let inside you. Again. “Oh. Right.” You pushed yourself up off the counter, stumbling slightly as you did so. “I’ll just go back to my room now.” Empty head. This would have consequences. But tomorrow you could worry about consequences.

“Quiet yourself. I will see to it you to get to your room safely. Now is not a time for you to be seen, and I have matters to attend to.” He placed his large hand on the side of your head.

“Hey, what the fuck are you-“

Blackness.

The darkness was palpable, endless, so thick it was almost breathable. Is this what death felt like? There were no dreams, no passing thoughts, just nothing. Somehow, you were aware, but at the same time you weren’t. It was a strange place to be.

It continued on like that, until the noises came. At first, you couldn’t place it. You knew that noise. Heard it recently, even. What the hell was that?

You managed to peel your eyes open, vision slightly blotted at first but eventually coming into focus. That damn noise. Your room, this was definitely your room. How did you even get here? What happened? 

The noise again. It’s a…. doorbell?

Groaning, you pushed yourself up from your bed reluctantly for the second time in 2 days. What was happening? You tried to think back to what happened, but the only thing your mind could process what that infernal doorbell.

“Okay, fuck, I’m coming!”

Stomping over to the door, you unlocked it, coming face to face with a very skittish looking man. You’d seen him before. Ceril? Cecil? What was it again?

“I’m so sorry for the early awakening, ma’am. I know it’s an off day, but General Hux has requested your immediate presence in his office.” He looked around anxiously, seeming more than a little uncomfortable.

The night before flashed in little reels. The bar. Your fight with Ren. Him finger fucking a very vocally expressive you in the very-not-soundproofed bathroom. In PUBLIC.

_Fuck me fucking sideways son of a FUCK. He knows! He knows I’ve been breaking protocol with Ren!_

Fear flooded you, anchoring you in place. You simply stared at the man in your doorway, unable to speak or move.

“I hate to rush, ma’am, but this is a matter of urgency. He made it pretty clear he required your presence sooner rather than later.” His hands tapped at his side, mouth twitching anxiously.

“Yeah, of course. Just let me change real quick and I’ll meet you there?”

_Okay, is there any possible way off this base without him knowing about it?_

“I’m sorry, but I’m supposed to escort you.”

 _Damn._ _We had a good run._

“Okay, just let me change.” You turned and the door slammed in his face. Your heart was pounding, roaring in your ears and making your feet sweat.

_So, what’s the best outfit to die in, I wonder?_

What better than your uniform? From first to last, right? You quickly threw off last nights clothes, slipping into your uniform and throwing your hair into a quick bun that was more of a knotted mess than anything that would pass regulations. Oh well, that was the undertaker’s problem.

You opened the door again and allowed the underling to lead you through the halls, up towards Hux’s office on the top floor. You had to swallow back tears, hands nervously kneading together in your lap as you walked. You tried to distract yourself with what exactly it was you were going to say when he accused you.

_I’m sorry sir, I was just lonely and he was there._

_Hey, he came on to me, not vice versa._

_I mean, maybe if you give him a try, you’ll see why I did it_

_You ever seen stars and not the one’s up there?_

Yeah, okay, better to just keep your mouth shut and accept punishment.

After the longest and somehow the shortest walk of your life, you found yourself facing Hux’s own office. Ceril/Cecil/Cyril gave you a curt nod before quickly trotting off down the hallway to his other duties, and you were left alone outside the office. Taking one last deep inhale, you pressed the button on the mounted datapad, alerting him to your presence.

The door swung open, and you could see Hux seated behind his desk, looking more furious than you had ever seen him. His face was officially redder than his hair, and there were two veins pushing at the skin on his forehead now instead of the one. His fingers were interlaced in front of his face, and his eyes were downcast, refusing to meet yours.

You sheepishly stepped in, approaching his desk with apprehension as you stared at the floor. For several moments, he said nothing. Only glared at an empty space on his desk. Perhaps you were the one who was supposed to say something?

“Sir, I just want to say how sorry I am. I should have known better, I should have-“

“Don’t apologize.” He spat, refusing to meet your eyes. Tears gathered again, ready to spill forth from you. Is this really how you were going to die? For hooking up with a superior? Maker, how pathetic. He huffed, sitting in silence for another few minutes before speaking again. “I don’t blame you. I blame that mongrel Ren.”

You bit your lip, unsure of what to say to that. “I’m relieved you see it that way, but I assume it doesn’t change the outcome?”

“No, it does not.” His upper lip trembled in rage. You searched the rest of his face for any signs of mercy or forgiveness, anything. His sunken face and darkened eyes held none. You cursed inwardly. You were about to speak again, when he shoved his desk away in anger, rising to his feet. You flinched as he paced, facing away from you, spitting flames under his breath.

“What happens now, General?” You whispered, terrified of the answer.

“Of all the idiotic, deplorable, selfish things to do…” He ranted, feet dusting furiously at the floor as he walked. Alright then, let him finish his ranting before you asked him exactly how and when you were going to die. A while passed between you, him still muttering incomprehensibly under his breath, and you attempting to shake as subtly as possible, holding back a dam of emotion.

He turned to you suddenly, mouth downturned. “I should have known this would happen.”

“I don’t think there’s any possible way you could have, sir. Even I didn’t know.”

“I could have seen it coming. I should have known when you were assigned to him.” He sighed deeply, walking towards you. You really didn’t like the thought of Hux trying to foresee your sex life, but if it could have spared you death then so be it. “It shouldn’t have ended this way…”

“I agree.” Your voice faltered a little despite trying to hold yourself with dignity. What exactly were they going to tell your family? Hopefully a lie.

He shook his head, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I just want you to know, I’m going to fight this. That imbecile has no use for you, he’s simply flaunting his power.” He seethed.

_Okay, hurtful._

“He’s gone too far this time. Taking you as his own temporary administrative assistant was one thing but this!” His fist closed, teeth baring. “Running to the Supreme Leader and begging like some kind of infantile man-child to undermine me? For what? So that you can process his damage reports for the rest of your days? Tell me, what exactly does he need a full time assistant for?”

Now you were thoroughly confused. What was happening?

“Sir?”

He exhaled, nodding. “I’m sorry, I know you hate that term. Which is precisely why I cannot fathom why he’s done it other than to spite me! He’s never needed any specialized personnel before, and now he suddenly _needs_ an assistant? Utter bollocks!”

“Sir, may I ask exactly what’s going to happen to me?”

“Ren has requested that you be taken out completely from my employ and placed permanently under his. For the time being, he has stunted your career and ruined the opportunities for advancement you were to receive after his leave in a few weeks. In essence, you will become his permanent assistant.”

“He WHAT?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodbye for now, fellas


End file.
